You Said What?

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Nicole Eisenberg > Freshman > Business > University of Maryland
Has misinterpreting something the opposite sex said gotten you into trouble? Would you like to know what guys and girls are actually thinking, and how you should react when someone says “we have to talk” or “I’ll call you”?



We have to talk.
According to Kerry Stephens, freshman at the Savannah College of Art and Design, when you hear this phrase in any situation, “Something is wrong.” She adds that if it’s a girl talking to a girl, “It is a phrase that [they use] when they have a problem with you.” Andy Marmer, a sophomore at Vassar College, says, “It sounds really forceful, so it instantly makes me think that I messed up in some way,” He explains that if he says this, it means that “you’ve done something that upset me, and we need to talk about it.” 
Either way, the person that says this wants to talk about something, so open your ears without any assumptions and just listen.  
You know what?…uh, never mind.
People who say this “obviously have something on their mind but are too afraid to say it out loud,” says Julia Barnett, a freshman at Syracuse University. “I feel like guys never know what they are feeling, so this phrase kind of sums it up.” Bryan Brown, a freshman at Penn State University agrees. “She’s got something big on her mind but chickens out when saying it.” 
Let it go. If the person decides that it is important enough, they will tell you later.
I’m fine.
When anyone says, “I’m fine”, they are anything but fine, says Hannah Johnstone, a freshman at Westchester University. She thinks that they are extremely annoyed at something. Marmer thinks that it depends on the situation, however. “I think this one completely depends on the context, and tone. If it comes after something like ‘how are you?’ it’s completely innocuous. If it comes after something like ‘what’s wrong?’ then it seems defensive, and makes me think there is something she’s not telling me.” Brown says that this phrase is his favorite because it “clearly means she’s not fine.” 
To find out more, ask them a specific question about their day to see if they are actually fine or putting up a façade.
It’s okay, don’t worry about it.
When Barnett hears this phrase, she starts “to worry about it after a guy says this. If a guy says it, I probably shouldn’t worry though.” Alex Grassi, a freshman at Franklin & Marshall College, explains that people just need to “stop apologizing [because] it’s annoying.” 
Instead of asking, “are you sure?” right in the moment, bring up the topic in a later conversation. The person might open up more, but if you are still told not to worry, then you have tried your best, so do not lose sleep over it.
I’m so glad you’re my friend.
Stephens believes that when someone tells you this, they mean just that. Brown, on the other hand, explains that if you thought you had a chance with the girl who said this and you still think you have a chance, “You’re dumb for being friends with her. It’s the worst thing to hear ever.” Harsh! 
If you are a guy hearing it from a girl, take it as a compliment that you are their friend, and do not try anything. If you are a girl hearing it and do not want a relationship with your guy friend, make sure that you relay these thoughts in the rest of your conversation.
I’ll call you.
“It probably means he won’t call me. Guys say this one all the time, and they rarely call,” says Barnett. Marmer says that if he tells someone “I’ll call you”, he will talk to you later! If a girl says this to him, he believes them and takes it literally.
The best way to react in this scenario is to take it with a grain of salt. Do not get your hopes up because this could mean a multitude of things to each person individually. That way, if they do not call, you will not be disappointed, and if they do call, you will be pleasantly surprised.
Mystery solved! Case cracked! Just be careful out there. It’s a tough world to decipher what people are saying, and you definitely don’t want to make a wrong move!
Have you misinterpreted what someone said and it landed you in the doghouse? Spill!

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College Magazine Staff

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