The single-room dorm that houses two or three beds thrown in a room is annoying but it is not unbearable—except when you want a little privacy with your SO. Then it becomes absolute Hell. Getting walked in on becomes a constant fear and, in many cases, a regular reality.
1. A Blanket Will Be Your Lifesaver
Always keep a big blanket within arms reach. This is your best line of defense. You never know when you will need to do the quick reach-around and pull it over you and your boo. You need to make sure it’s big enough that you can just whoosh it up onto the bed without fumbling to spread it out. Having to prepare before gettin’ down to business is annoying, but every millisecond counts when you hear that doorknob creak.
2. Shoot a Text to Your Roommates
If you are comfortable enough with your roommates, send them a quick text: “Please knock.” They’ll get the message loud and clear. This way, you might even have time to get partially dressed before your roommate barges in anyway to sneak a peak. However, you can’t always rely on this method. Sometimes people do not check their phones, simply forget or just don’t care.
3. Be Patient
Once you make it under the covers, you two may be stuck there for quite a while. Do not get angry or frustrated, it will just make the time pass more slowly. Most of the time, your roommate will leave or go to the bathroom within ten minutes of getting home. Seize that chance and jump up to get dressed. The most important thing is to make sure that your roommates do not know that there are two naked people in the room.
4. Pretend to Sleep
Sometimes the obvious solutions are the best. Start spooning and close your eyes. Your roommates are sure to leave you alone and no one will suspect that you are not napping. An added bonus is that you might actually fall asleep, but best part is that you get to cuddle for an indefinite amount of time.
5. Utilize this Precious Together Time
There are not many opportunities that you will have a chance to just lay down and talk with your SO without any distractions or other commitments. Take advantage of every moment. Talk about your days, what you want for dinner, your hopes and dreams, your favorite color. It does not matter. Simply talking will strengthen your relationship.
6. Have Some Lite Fun Under the Covers
Just because your roommates get home does not mean that your fun has to stop completely. Make it a game. See how much you can do or how many kisses you can sneak without anyone noticing. You can figure out the details yourselves.
7. Keep a Pair of Underwear Nearby
If you are in a rush and don’t know when your roommates will get back, keep a pair of underwear on the corner of the bed. You can easily slip them on after you are under the covers and, since you are covered, you can finish getting dressed and get your girlfriend her clothes. The negative is that there is a pair of boxers on your bed while you are getting busy, but it is a lifesaver if you do not have time to wait for an opportunity to get dressed.
8. Coordinate Around your Roommates’ Schedules
At the beginning of the semester, trade schedules with your roommates. There is usually some time everyday that your room will be empty. You just need to make sure that you and your SO are free at the odd hours when everyone else is in class. This is not the most spontaneous kind of fun, but planned sex is better than no sex at all.
9. Try Doing It in the Shower
This is the kinkiest option on the list, you naughty bastard, you. Besides having virtually no chance of being found out, fun in the bathroom or shower is a nice change of pace from the bed. You are forced to try new things, which expands your repertoire. Cleanup is also incredibly easy and you can actually have a romantic shower together afterwards. The best part about going in the shower is that you don’t need to stop if your roommates come home as long as you can stay quiet.
10. Last Resort
What happens when your roommates just don’t leave and are in for the night? Try dropping hints that they’ve got to go. Fake cough loudly and repeatedly or make comments to your girlfriend like, “I’m glad we have this ALONE time,” or “I always wish I have more time to get dressed.” If they still aren’t getting the hint, it’s time to speak up. This is a very delicate situation that is embarrassing to everyone involved, but your beet-red roommate will get out of there as fast as possible.
*Contributor chose to remain anonymous.
