Has romance and love taken a turn for the worse among millennials? With the changing times and the dawn of the Digital Age, the way millennials view love and relationships has definitely changed. This in no way implies that millennials don’t still find importance in love, however. Karen Everett, longtime marriage and family therapist, says the need for connection and relationship persists for millennials, while marriage has become less important. Rather college students choose to express their love and romance in a less formal way.
Amidst the new world of college hookups and Tinder dates, these 10 quotes reflect on love in a millennial world.
1. “Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time”—Drake
In our world of speedy technology, it seems millennials fear a commitment to love. Thus, feelings of jealousy arise. “Although I think jealousy is an unhealthy emotion I think it does often come from a place of love but also insecurity,” College of Saint Benedict sophomore Cecilia Ney said. Jealousy first requires love, so one can only feel jealous if they actually care about someone else. “You want to deny that you like a person by covering it up with hate but it doesn’t work that way,” Boston College sophomore Cara Hughes said. Perfectly complicated describes jealousy because it comes from a place of love, yet we express it in a way that resembles hate. This prevailing theme of jealousy only means that we millennials most definitely have the capability to love, as our love causes our jealousy.
2. “Continue to share your heart with people even if it has been broken.” —Amy Poehler
In the end, we all share the identity as part of the broken hearts club right? The fast pace of society and the heavy presence of social media means relationships often end quickly. “While there is increased social connectivity, ‘fear of missing out’ and negative self-evaluation based on viewing others’ social media content has become a widespread phenomenon,” Ben Greenberg from the Boston College University Counseling Services said. When we can see our lover’s every move on social media, we often feel as if others purposefully choose to exclude or ignore us. However, we cannot let this keep us from having hope in future love. “I think it’s just as important to love always no matter what the world throws your way,” Mandi Alberta from Boston College said.
In our world dominated by Tinder dates and meaningless hookups, sometimes heartbreak seems all too familiar. We must keep in mind the millennial desire for love and the vast amount of love millennials have to give.
3. “Love is something sent from Heaven to worry the Hell out of you.”—Dolly Parton
Love evokes fear and anxiety. Perhaps due to the daunting thought of love, millennials never appear to have an interest in long-term commitment. “You put so much out there not knowing whether you’re going to get the actions reciprocated,” College of Saint Benedict sophomore Maggie Morin said. Millennials want to feel connected and loved, but Tinder and texting speeds up the life cycle of relationships, and this only increases worry. We just need to remember the heavenly aspect of love to let ourselves fall in love in an authentic way despite our uncertainties.
4. “The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.”—Johnny Depp
Puppy love gets its name for a good reason, and this quote definitely relates to most college students who always bond over seeing a cute puppy. Some say millennials lack the capability to properly love one another at all, but that belief screams falsity. We millennials sure can love and maybe we just need to imitate the loyalty and love our dogs seem to possess so exquisitely.
5. “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.”—Woody Allen
Sex and intimacy constitute a big part of romantic relationships. Experimenting with sex, as referred to in this quote, speaks to the hookup culture of millennials. “Some students have reported apps like Tinder to be ‘addictive’, and may be complicated by also facilitating sex-seeking behaviors that cause many complications in attempts to form loving relationships,” Greenberg described. Sex does raise some questions as an important step on the way to finding love, and Tinder only elevates the distraction of sex for millennials. We millennials may just open ourselves up to expressing our sexual desires more than past generations, reflecting our casual view of love. We don’t need a formal relationship declared to experiment sexually. This contributes positively to millennial love lives because elevating the importance of dating sometimes puts too much pressure on wanting perfection. Hopefully this only makes it easier for millennials to feel comfortable with one another in order for love to enter a relationship in an imperfectly perfect way.
6. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments.”—Chris Rock
This one should appeal to those who desire that extra attention from bae. Who hasn’t seen the many pictures girls post bragging about the Taco Bell their boyfriend just got them? “Women wanting compliments and pure love and all that has been around forever,” University of Chicago sophomore Ella Fredrickson said. Romance once meant a home-cooked meal, while we now fall more for our lover when they buy us fast food or Starbucks. Us millennials enjoy the simplicity of romance in that we don’t need an expensive fancy planned-out date, but we feel content relaxing at home together or going for a long drive. This simplicity may outshine the difficult demands and pressures placed on older generations to make extravagant romantic gestures all the time. Extravagant gestures do still have their place for millennials, but they don’t need to happen every single day.
7. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”—Will Ferrell
Admit it: if your Instagram takes more than 10 seconds to load, impatience fills your soul. This most definitely speaks to the new Digital Age and the constant connection to the Internet millennials crave. Previously the way someone treated an individual at a restaurant testified to their character, but nowadays slow internet displays a person’s true colors. Both older generations and millennials want to make sure they know who they fall in love with, and with the internet, millennials just have a new and different way available to judge character.
8. “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”—Chelsea Handler
Who do you prefer act as your matchmaker? I’ll just guess not your parents. In past generations parents dominated the role of matchmaking, but now the parents come last in line to meet their child’s love interest. “We are more concerned with how our partner will view our family than the other way around,” Boston College sophomore Kelli Powers said. Millennials delay commitment and with this comes a delay of introducing a lover to our parents. This can emphasize the informal attitude millennials associate with romantic partners, as formally defining a relationship takes much longer in the millennial age.
9. “If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji – no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.”—Chelsea Peretti
Does your heart flutter when you receive a cute little kissing emoji from that special someone? Texting prevails as the most common form of communication for millennials, yet judging from the way someone truly feels over text causes extreme confusion. Emojis bring fun into the world of texting, but if they stand in the way of expressing true emotions, they lose their luster. “Words can’t be replaced with little heart emojis,” Nicole Angelakis said. If you ask any girl, she will most likely say she prefers someone telling her they love her face to face. Texting does help us millennials connect with our lovers, but our hearts may flutter a little more when someone expresses their emotions in a real-life interaction. A balance of texting and real-life interaction solves this confusion.
10. “You guys have been dating since kindergarten and you haven’t sealed the deal.”—Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
Can we define us as official? The majority of millennials have probably asked themselves this question about one of their romantic relationships. Millennials often describe their romantic interactions as “talking” to someone rather than “dating” someone. Tinder provides a never-ending supply of people to date, so we want to know all our options. Millennials do truly care about who they might spend their life with, and with this comes a hesitation to commit formally. Taking time to find someone you love reflects the thoughtfulness required for love and long-lasting relationships.
No specific words can accurately describe the difference between “millennial love” and the love our parents experienced in college. It certainly reflects the new Digital Age and the fast-paced technological world we live in. Hopefully millennials will still keep some of that original desired romance in their lives and create meaningful relationships despite the complicated culture of hookups and Tinder dates. In the end, you create your own “millennial” love life. Go out there and find a unique, millennial romance of your own. Just do not delay that commitment for too long, because life flies by and you want to claim that special someone before someone else swipes right on Tinder and gets them first.