Hooking up with someone in college might turn awkward or just plain confusing. Why? Ask college students. They all define the parameters of the term “hookup” very differently. For some, the phrase could mean kissing after a date. For others, it means second base. University of Florida graduate Ruder Singh said, “Maybe a while ago hooking up was making out or even dating someone but now it means sex.” Here we’ll use “hooking up” to mean anything that involves sexually intimate physical contact.
But no one talks about how to prepare for a college hookup or the aftermath. Let’s do it.
Setting the College Hookup Scene
You go to a party. You meet a cute boy or girl and go home with him or her. Things get physical. You wake up the next day lying next to someone you barely know. The feeling of shame and dread flashes over you. What did you do? Relax and breathe. You did nothing wrong, so long as it was consensual and safe.
Often, people come down too hard on themselves. No need. First, everything the deed is done. You hooked up. You can’t take it back. Live in your truth. Brush it off and keep it moving. Also, use your college hookup as a learning experience. Do what you liked next time you hook up, and say no to what you don’t like so much. On the other hand, if you hooked up with someone in the past and realize you absolutely hate it, you don’t ever have to do it again.
Hooking up with someone is not a bad thing. People hookup for different reasons. “One of the reasons why I came to UF is because I was ready to put myself out there. The campus is so big with some maybe people. You know? I was ready to meet new people and hook up,” said UF freshman Adam Perez.
And some students turn to hook ups as a way to make human contact. “I think some people hook up for companionship. UF can be lonely. So some type of human connection can help,” said UF sophomore Jill Matthew.
Some people like pineapple on their pizza and some don’t—just like some college students don’t want to hook up. “It’s weird. I just can’t do it. But I don’t fault or hate people who do,” said UF senior Rebeca Colin. Hooking up in college is something that you should want to do. Never feels force into doing it. If you don’t. Then don’t. If you do. Have fun.
How to Prepare for a College Hookup
Hookups like Tinder open the gates to hooking up in college. “Hook up correlates with dating apps,” said Singh. Finding a partner is easy. Thousands of students swipe left and right to look for their next hook up.
But know what you’re getting yourself into if you decide to hook up with someone. Some use hooking up as a coping mechanism, doing it for the wrong reasons. “I’m someone who has friends who are girls and guys. I get to see both side. “It’s like guys hookup and use the hookups as trophies and girls sometimes are more naïve,” said Singh.
Whenever you hook up with someone, take a hot second from your hot hookup to agree on what each person expects. “No matter what use protection,” said Singh. Don’t take your partner’s words at face value. Go into a hookup fully prepared and protect yourself. You never want to leave a college hookup with an STI or an unwanted pregnancy. Use protection and certainly don’t feel embarrassed to speak up and ask for it.
The University of Florida offers great resources that can help, like the Student Health Care Center. The Student Health Center offers counseling on anything related to sex, including sexuality, information on all birth control options, STI prevention, testing and treatment. And these resources aren’t exclusive to UF. Schools across the country offer services to students to make sure they hook up safe.
What to Do After You Hookup
After a hookup, make sure you let the person know what you expect moving forward. If you and your partner discussed expectations before the actual hookup, this makes things clearer. Maybe neither of you wanted a relationship or something to blossom from this hookup. Then that’s the end of it.
But if you had a good time and you want to continue to hookup or want something more, then talk about it with your partner. You should definitely reach out to that person and ask them. The worse thing that can happen is that they say no. But if they feel the same way then maybe something can happen in the future.
Above all, never go into a hookup with the expectation of a relationship. The Business Insider found that 60 percent of Americans hookup and only 30 percent of hookups turn into relationships. So chances are not you won’t marry who you hooked up with last Friday.
Go into your college hookup with a realistic mindset. “I think it’s important for girls to not get attached Many of the guys here are not looking for a girlfriend if they tell you that they just want to hookup. Believe them,” said UF senior Monica Wilson. “You can’t change a person. So listen to what they tell and show you. I’ve seen so many of my friends expect more and get hurt.”
In many cases a hookup is just a hookup. Not all hookups will end in a relationship, and that’s perfectly fine.
College students everywhere hook up but don’t want to talk about it and what it means. When you ask someone about their experienced when hooking up with someone the shy away. However, if you are doing it then you should be able to talk about. A lack of communication causes horrible experiences and awkwardness when hooking up. Don’t be afraid to talk to your college hookup.
If you can hook up with this person then talking you should know how to talk to them, too. Talk about what you want when hooking up with someone. Universities offer students wonderful and helpful counselors that will listen to you.
Hooking up comes with a lot of emotions; don’t hold it all in. Release it. Hooking up is no longer taboo. In college, hooking up is the norm. “I think women are starting to embrace themselves and what they want. There’s nothing wrong with that,” said UF junior Ani Smart.
Experience all things you want to experience while in college. You only go to college once. Don’t cloud this amazing experience with shame and regret. Be happy. Live your life in a healthy way. When you grow old and tell stories to your grandchildren don’t bore them with semantics. Show that you lived and hookup if you feel like it.