• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary navigation
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

College Magazine

College Life, Dating, Career & Campus Advice

  • Colleges
    • College Guides
    • College Rankings
    • Campus Life
      • Academics
      • Dating
      • Freshman Year
      • Health
      • Social Change
      • Party
  • Majors
    • All Majors
    • Most Popular Majors
    • Choosing a Major
  • Intern
    • Internship Directory
    • How to Get an Internship
    • How to Write a Resume
    • How to Write a Cover Letter
    • How to Interview
    • How to Network
    • Career 101
    • Find Your Passion Career
  • Money
    • How to Make Money
    • How to Save Money
    • How to Get a Job
    • Credit Cards 101
    • FAFSA
    • Ramen Project
  • Travel
    • Study Abroad
    • College Spring Break
    • How to Travel Cheap
    • Things to Do
  • Shop
    • Writer Course
    • College Magazine Shop
    • Gift Guides
    • College Packing List
  • Find your college or university
  • Colleges
    • College Guides
    • College Rankings
    • Campus Life
      • Academics
      • Dating
      • Freshman Year
      • Health
      • Social Change
      • Party
  • Majors
    • All Majors
    • Most Popular Majors
    • Choosing a Major
  • Intern
    • Internship Directory
    • How to Get an Internship
    • How to Write a Resume
    • How to Write a Cover Letter
    • How to Interview
    • How to Network
    • Career 101
    • Find Your Passion Career
  • Money
    • How to Make Money
    • How to Save Money
    • How to Get a Job
    • Credit Cards 101
    • FAFSA
    • Ramen Project
  • Travel
    • Study Abroad
    • College Spring Break
    • How to Travel Cheap
    • Things to Do
  • Shop
    • Writer Course
    • College Magazine Shop
    • Gift Guides
    • College Packing List
  • Find your college or university
  • About Us
  • Team
  • Write
  • Apply
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sign Up
  • Advertise
  • My Account
  • Cart

You are here: Home / Life / Navigating an LDR Amidst the Frat Parties and Casual Hook-ups

Navigating an LDR Amidst the Frat Parties and Casual Hook-ups

October 7, 2020 //  by Iliana Resendiz

Shares28FacebookTweet

My biggest worry in high school was whether or not that boy liked me back. Well, turns out he did, but that “honeymoon phase” ended pretty quickly when we transitioned to an LDR.

IT WAS EASY IN THE BEGINNING.

Young couple in a retro photo-booth. How relationships look before LDR.
pexels.com

We got together when I was a senior and he was a sophomore in high school. The two years after my graduation I spent at a community college about five minutes from where he lived. At that time, our biggest concern mostly had to do with what we were going to have for lunch. But then, one graduation and a bunch of college acceptances later, he decided to go to MIT. Great! Right?

I never considered ending things, but that first year of long-distance just might have been the literal worst. I never realized how needy I was until he left. But still, I knew we had to do this because it would be worth it in the end. I also understood that the title of the “smarter,” “more accomplished” one would belong to him. I felt so incredibly proud, but what was I contributing? Then he told me to shut up and stop feeling so bad about myself… in a nice way. It was pretty good advice, I suppose, considering that I eventually got accepted to every school I applied for. I was officially UCLA bound!

HE NEVER STOPPED LETTING ME KNOW HOW PROUD HE FELT FOR ME.

Gif of Ron Swanson expressing how proud he is.
giphy.com

He had such a positive experience his freshman year, he convinced me I would too. Freshman year provided an opportune time for me to grow as an individual, to explore my interests and develop life-long friendships. I figured, “He and I are both going to be away at school now. Maybe the LDR thing will be easier.” Nope.

One day after moving in, I felt incredibly uneasy and had no idea why. I called him and he casually explained, “Oh yeah, you’re homesick.” I cried immediately after and didn’t stop until probably two weeks later.

Then, cuffing season hit me like a moving train. Not only did I struggle just to function properly, but I swore everyone was rubbing their new relationships in my face just to spite me. My roommate found someone on Tinder. Our mutual friend was dating girls on Tinder. My closest friend was hooking up with guys they met on Tinder. Everyone just about had Tinder fever! For the longest time, UCLA college culture convinced me that if I wasn’t getting wasted at frat parties, made less than ten friends, or didn’t land some fall fling, then I must be doing something wrong. But after some real conversations with some people, I realized that it’s all for show. Every student has felt homesick or that imposter syndrome at some point. Casual hook-ups seemed to be a popular remedy. It’s a valid option, of course, but not one I wanted to choose.

Cuffing season continued to be my worst LDR nightmare.

Spongebob scared in bed.
giphy.com

Never had so many people asked me about whether or not I was single. I got so many weird comments ranging from “you should get pregnant and lock him down” to “maybe you should have an open relationship.” No, thanks. While many didn’t understand why or how I maintained my four-year relationship with a guy 3000 miles away, I was okay with not flirting at frat parties or hooking up with whoever. But God forbid that a couple held hands or kissed in front of me. THAT was just cruel.

I wish I could say that being in college long-distance relationships gets easier, but I don’t think it does. Going from spending every day with someone to then having to navigate a completely foreign space alone, can be a scary thing. It could also be the greatest motivator. I never thought myself capable enough to attend a prestigious school like UCLA. He always believed in me more than I did. Even though the “college culture” can be unkind to people in an LDR, I learned to trust my own abilities more. UCLA is meant to serve me. I might as well kick a** while I’m here.

Shares28FacebookTweet

Filed Under: Dating Hooking Up Life UCLA

About Iliana Resendiz

Iliana is a 2nd-year transfer student studying English at UCLA. Currently in search of sleep, sanity, and the Shire.

You May Also Like

cultural identity and language

Language Abilities Don’t Define Your Cultural Identity, Unless?

How I Turned My Personal Journals into a Published Book

songs to belt out

21 Songs to Belt Out in the Shower

15 Alcohol-Free Activities for a Friday Night In

Reflecting on Fall 2020: How to Recover from One of the Hardest Semesters

How to Make Money From Home Without Taking Off Your PJs

15 COVID-19 Safe Ways to Celebrate the Holidays in 2020

Top 10 COVID-19 Safe Activities to Do Near Fresno, California

Breaking the Binary: My Journey into Identifying as Non-Binary

The Döner Project: My Berlin Budget as a College Student

CM’s Guide to the Print and Digital Journalism Major

Away from Home and Feeling Gross: Being Sick My Freshman Year

A Tale of Two Twin Flames

movies to binge over winter break

Battling Boredom: 10 Movies to Binge Over Winter Break

Being an Asian-American: Learning to Accept Both Halves of Myself

How to Become a Published Poet

ADHD or the Enemy? At Least My College Helped Me

berkeley outdoors

10 COVID-19 Friendly Things to Do in Berkeley, California

Top 10 DIY Gifts for Your BFF

Christmas

10 Gifts For Parents That They Want But Haven’t Asked For

friend group dressed up as Big Hero Six characters

Animation Nerds Unite: 10 Gifts for Animation Lovers

gifts for your girl squad

10 Gifts Your Girl Squad Can’t Live Without

10 Virtual Gifts for Your BFF that Will Make Them Love You Forever

Real News: 10 Gifts for the Future Journalist in Your Life

Previous Post: «friend group Top 10 FOMO-Worthy Events at St. John’s University
Next Post: What Finding a Church in College Taught Me people worshipping jesus»

Primary Sidebar



Trending Posts

CampusLife_sm
53

CM’s Top 10 Schools Doing Residential Life Right

coffee w heart
14

A Barista’s Guide to Making Delicious Coffee Drinks at Home

6

5 Tips for Getting Your Social Media Ready for the Professional World

Featured Chapter: UCLA

Footer

logo

College Magazine is the national daily guide to campus life. Our articles for college students feature university rankings of U.S. colleges, college guides, academic advice, college prep, career advice, student health and collegiate dating tips.

Written by students for students, by a team of journalists from universities nationwide, we’re on the pulse of the college experience.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Colleges

  • College Guides
  • College Rankings
  • Campus life
  • Academics
  • Dating
  • Freshmen Year
  • Health
  • Party

Majors

  • All College Majors
  • Most Popular Majors
  • Choosing a Major

Intern

  • Internships Directory
  • How to Write a Resume
  • How to Write a Cover Letter
  • How to Interview
  • How to Get an Internship
  • How to Network

Money

  • How to Make Money
  • How to Save Money
  • How to Get a Job
  • Credit Cards 101
  • College Loans

Travel

  • Study Abroad
  • College Spring Break
  • How to Travel Cheap
  • Things to Do

Shop

  • College Packing List
  • Gift Guides
  • About Us
  • Team
  • Write
  • Apply
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sign Up
  • Advertise
  • My Account
  • Cart

Copyright © 2021 College Magazine · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc.