It’s hard to unnerve an Indiana University Hoosier, you know, being in the Midwest and all, but these might come close. Whether you want to attend IU and get ahead of the curve or just emotionally prepare yourself for the cliché questions and minutiae of moving to the Limestone capital, you’ll want to keep a few do’s and don’t’s in mind.
That being said, check out these 10 things you should never, ever say to your favorite Hoosier.
1. “What’s a Hoosier?”
I’m a Hoosier, and you’re a Hoosier too if you literally live or do anything in Indiana. That’s it. And while we’re here, we don’t have a mascot, we just have the candy–striped pants. I know it sounds strange, but if you’ve been to an IU Basketball game you’ll see we aren’t lacking in school spirit.
2. “The colors are red and white, yeah?”
The East High Wildcats wear red and white, IU Hoosiers wear Cream and Crimson. It seems like a small detail, but nothing grinds against the ears of Bloomingtonians like this simple mix up.
3. “My cousin’s best friend goes there, do you know them?”
In all likelihood, no. With over 38,000 undergraduates, I barely know anyone I don’t sit next to in class. Despite how many times I’ve been asked this question, I always entertain the possibility that I do know them, because what if they sit next to me?
4. “They have a good business school, right?”
The Kelley School of Business overruns this campus, so I always feel tempted to say no to weaken their power. But if it brings prestige and funding to IU, then fine. Apply to be a Direct Admit to Kelley, just please remember that IU offers more than Hodge Hall.
5. “Does it snow a lot there?”
I think people not from the Midwest get confused about where exactly Indiana is. It’s nowhere special, believe me. It snows here, in the painful way where it doesn’t promise a temperate summer to make up for itself. So yes, bring your snow boots, but also your thinnest tank top because the first week of school is brutal.
6. “Did you rush?”
ONLY 25 PERCENT OF IU IS GREEK. 25 PERCENT. Therefore, odds are, no, I didn’t. At the rate Greek houses are getting kicked off campus, there might not be any Greek Life to rush in a couple years. Does that mean people will have to earn personalities instead of paying for them?
7. “Boiler up!”
I get it, Purdue University is our rival. I’ve been at IU for four years, and I’ve sincerely never heard a Hoosier genuinely bash the Boilermakers. Rubbing their cheer in my face elicits no emotional response, besides maybe boredom.
8. “There must be a lot of corn.”
Well, you might be right about this one. But why did you have to bring it up?
9. “Pushed a login request to your device…”
Only true Hoosiers know the pain of the Duo Mobile authentication app. Whether you chose the push notification, the text message or the phone call, every single menial task that requires you to dual authenticate your identity is a pain. I get that we want our data to be secure, but at what cost?
10. “Oh, I didn’t know it was that large.”
Indeed, 38,000 undergraduates feels like a lot of people. Yes, it does take me 20 minutes to walk across campus. But going to a Big Ten University provides me endless opportunities every single day, so I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Sure, some people will never fully understand the ins and outs of Indiana University. But no matter how many wildly uninformed questions people ask, or the incessant ding of Duo Mobile, remember: it’s a great day to be a Hoosier.