College dating can sometimes feel like settling for fast food. It’s often too quick, unfulfilling and yet you find yourself back in line again and again. What we don’t think about are the repercussions and how college rejection is just as much a part of the whole experience as the initial hook up. While girls can usually just pop on a Taylor Swift album and move on with their lives; for guys, it’s not always that simple. Men, fear not, we are here to offer you real advice from other dudes that have dialed the rejection hotline and survived.
Ready to dial the rejection hotline? We’ll help you find a way to get through this breakup.
1. The “Exactly What You Would Expect”
“I would go back into my studio, crank out some designs, and play some video games with my friends. Or, I would just chill with my dog.” – Jonathan Park, Senior, Graphic Design, Arcadia University
2. The “It Never Happened”
“I have just pretended that the whole situation didn’t actually happen. Last summer, I was talking to someone and they referred to me as a ‘great friend’, and I just acted like they never said it.” –Ryan Rayer, Senior, Communications, Pennsylvania State University
3. The “Covering All Bases”
“I had been talking to a girl for a whole four to five weeks, and was ready to settle down and start dating. We went to a movie, and I kept trying to put my arm around her, and she kept finding reasons to not have it there. When we finally talked about how we weren’t on the same page, I panicked and asked if I still needed to get her a birthday present, even though we never dated and her birthday wasn’t for another three months.” – Kyle Callahan, Junior, Biology, Temple University
4. The “Pain is Weakness”
“If it was a mild blow, my friends would start a laundry list of reasons why we didn’t like her in the first place, and start a mostly fabricated list of why life is better without her, followed by a fun bonding activity like going out. For more serious heartbreaks, it was always kept quiet outside of the obligatory ‘you all right?’ because real emotional pain is a weakness you don’t show other men, even your good bros. But, everyone knows what’s happening and these nights would typically end in heavy abuse of drinking, some large emotional outbreak at some point in the end, and more bro love to fill the void. You’d wake up in the morning, pick your hungover chin up and realize life is going to be okay.” – Justin Walker, Senior Accounting, Florida University
5. The “McBradshaw”
“I would buy an ice cream cake and a 40-piece McNugget meal, and binge-watch Sex and the City. Food is always a good thing to lean on when you’re upset over a girl, and I even learned that I am more of a Samantha.” – John Kania, Senior Film, Temple University
6. The “I’m Still Awesome”
“I think to myself that there are other women out there for me, and that that person wasn’t meant for me. Another thing that I tell myself is that they missed out on a chance to be with a pretty cool guy.”- Colin Chesney, Junior Music Education, Duquesne University
7. The “Walk Down Memory Lane”
“I read old letters from my family members and friends that were given to me in high school. They just make me feel better about myself and make light of the bad situation.” – Conor McDonald, Sophomore, Mathematics and Computer Science, Temple University
8. The “Basking in Your Own Hotness”
“Well, the first thing I would do is go find the closest sports game and start playing. Sweating is better than crying. And what else is better eye candy than a hot, sweaty body?” – Arius Jones, Senior, Actuarial Science, West Chester University
9. The “It Actually Is That Deep”
“I always feel like Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. I don’t really want to get out of bed, and I want to listen to a sad song like, “The World Has Turned and Left Me Here” by Weezer.” – Ryan McGlashen, Senior Music Education, Millersville University
10. The “I Don’t Give Up Too Easily”
“I keep going for it. If I come off creepy, oh well, I’ll probably never see the person again. In the best case, I can turn any exchange into an interesting conversation.”- Nick Philips, Senior Mechanical Engineering, Drexel University
Whether it takes some serious soul-searching, or getting over it is as simple as investing in a membership to Planet Fitness, guys all cope with rejection in different ways. In any case, you’ll survive being rejected, and in most instances, come out even more on top than before because you learned some sleight of hand. So, moral of the story: keep on slaying the sometimes-unforgiving world of college dating, gentleman. It wouldn’t turn without you.
Ladies, how do we get over a breakup when he’s just not that into you? Here’s how to survive the rejection hotline:
Written by Phoebe Bain.
Going through a breakup requires two things: Your best friends and some bangin’ breakup tunes. After going through a few breakups, you know which friends to turn to and which Spotify playlist you’ll need. But for those first few (like when you broke up with your high school sweetheart over Thanksgiving, or when your college bae went abroad for the year), it probably felt tougher to find some good advice. If you find yourself a bit new to all this struggle, you’ve come to the right place.
We complied this list of our friends’ best breakup advice and favorite breakup songs just for you. Read on and feel better.
1. #treatyourself
“My best advice is to grab your best friend and do whatever you want for the day!” Ohio State University freshman Kelsey Johnson said. The day it happens, literally just take the whole day off. Most professors give you two excused absences for the semester, so make this the time to use one of yours. Mental health days are real. Give yourself one. Literally spend the day doing whatever you want, whether you paint water colors, go to the beach or watch your favorite TV show. You have almost nothing going on in your life that cannot wait until tomorrow to get done.
2. Song to Cry to: “Don’t Wanna Be Your Girl” by Wet
Listen to this when: You dumped him and it was a tough decision.
Best lyric: The vibe to this one feels far more important and healing than the lyrics. If you have ever stood outside in the rain when you felt depressed and wished it would make you feel better, this song = the rain if it actually helped with anything other than looking melodramatic. Listen and you will see what I mean.
3. Think ahead
“It hurts now and it is painful but in the end it’s going to make you stronger,” St. Andrews junior Annie Petrino said. Although this advice sounds a bit cliche, it became a cliche for a reason. A breakup gives you a huge opportunity for growth. For example, if you spent all your time with your boyfriend freshman year, breaking up with him gives you an opportunity to make those college friends that will stick around post college. Time to find your very own Friends crew. Think of where you see yourself in three months and how much strength you will have gained from going through this experience.
4. Song to Blast: “Fly” by Nicki Minaj
Listen to this when: You’re ready to stop feeling like s–t and feel good again.
Best lyric: “See we become alive in the time of fear, and I ain’t got no muthaf–kin’ time to spare”
5. This Isn’t the Olympics
“You can’t heal until you stop treating it like a competition,” College of William & Mary senior Diana Worthen said. We waste so much energy trying to win the breakup. Real winning comes from just feeling your own pain and coming out better for it on the other side, not from comparing your healing process to your ex’s. Let them do their thing and try not to think about what goes on in their life. Just take this time to focus on yourself.
6. Song to listen to outside: “Wild World” by Cat Stevens
Listen to this when: You feel like getting some fresh air and reflecting on things. Also good for when you decide to get rid of your bad vibes and stop hating your ex.
Best lyric: Oh baby baby it’s a wild world
It’s hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh baby baby it’s a wild world
I’ll always remember you like a child, girl
7. Go Confidently
“Hold your head up high, walk with a pep in your step and show them you are your best without them,” William & Mary junior Natalie Batzel said. Changing your body language can really change your mood so #fakeittilyoumakeit and stand up tall. Wear clothes you feel confident in, too. Go ahead and rock your favorite leather jacket and heeled boots even if you’re just heading to Starbucks—you deserve to feel fantastic.
8. Song to chill to: “Strong As an Oak” by Watsky
Listen to this when: You want to feel at peace again.
Best lyric: Everything is A-OK (yep)
Because I’m strong as an O-A-K (an Oak!)
But money don’t grow on trees
And I’m B-R-O-K-E (Broke!)
9. Have some perspective
“Nothing lasts forever, and neither will this pain,” University of South Carolina freshman Stephanie McIntosh said. If you find yourself wondering how you will ever love someone again, just look at some of the adults in your life. Most people date and break up with more people than they even remember before meeting the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Yes, this hurts, but you won’t feel like lying on your bed, ugly-crying and cursing your meet-cute with your ex forever. Soon enough you will meet someone new and break up with them and be able to get through it better than before because you will know that one breakup does not equate to the end of your love life.
10. Turn to Taylor Swift
To the guy that said girls can just throw on a Taylor Swift record and get over a breakup…well…you’re not wrong. An old high school English teacher once told me, “There’s no heartbreak a long drive to some old Taylor Swift can’t solve.” Personally I have not been able to prove that theory wrong yet. However, please limit how many times you listen to “Better Than Revenge.” Trust me on that one.
Updated on September 28, 2017 by Phoebe Bain to include “When He’s Just Not That Into You.”
CM’s Guide to Amherst College
