No, none of these include, “Where the hell is (insert building name)?” We’re talking about the hard hitting, keep you up at night, existential questions that only a true UW student will understand.
1. Has anyone ever died from slipping on the bricks in Red Square?
THEY. ARE. SO. SLIPPERY.
2. Wait, how have I still not died slipping on the bricks on Red Square?
Okay, but seriously….how?!
3. Why do Friday quiz sections exist?
Especially ones that count attendance.
4. Yeah, there’s a fine, but would I really get caught if I jumped into Drumheller Fountain?
I mean, it is one of those things everyone does before graduating. Apparently.
5. Why are there so many little kids running around the quad?
I must have missed the memo stating campus is now a park.
6. Will people notice if I try to take a selfie here in front of the cherry blossoms?
I’m trying to be discreet here, don’t look at me.
7. Is Padelford Hall pronounced “Puh-dell-ford” or “Paddle-ford”?
AKA what I think about when I can’t sleep at 3 a.m.
8. Why are there so many Mormons trying to stop me on the way to class?
Not today, buddy. I’m late to class. Again.
9. Is it okay to wear shorts even though it’s only 60 degrees out?
The struggle of living in Seattle is real.
10. Why the hell are all my English classes in the most random places?
…Like the Electrical Engineering Building?
11. What events have free food this week?
12. Will I ever walk into the reading room in Suzzallo and not feel super cool?
No. The answer is no. I mean, look at it.
13. Why do I always forget to use the coupons in the student survival kit we get every quarter?
Excuse me while I go facepalm myself.
14. Why are 99% of the restaurants on The Ave Asian food?
I need some variety here, okay.
15. Why do some people think WSU is better?
16. Ugh, why is everything at the District Market so expensive?
I’m too poor for this. Help.
17. How do people manage to find the time to play guitar and frisbee on the quad?
I’m secretly really jealous.
18. Is the Seattle Freeze real? Am I a part of that?
Oh, god. Am I going to hell?
19. Will I really look that lame if I use an umbrella?
“But only international students who aren’t used to the rain use them.” Ugh.
20. Do I really have to graduate??
No, but really. Do I? Insert crying face emoji here.