As the Coronavirus continues its rampage across America, a more insidious disease has been getting little attention. It too threatens to take away jobs and guarantee a life of frozen food and YouTube marathons. And it largely affects a certain group of American adults: seniors. I’m talking, of course, about Senioritis. For those at Virginia’s College of William & Mary, things have begun to rot long before COVID-19 bound them to the comfort of their bedrooms. Senior’s lives slowly fell apart like a Tribe Truck ice cream in July.
Here are 10 ways some have tried to make a last stand against the malaise.
1. Pro Procrastinator
Sometimes it’s better to do nothing at all and let the invisible hand of anxiety work its magic. “I just procrastinate on every single assignment until I’m no longer able to,” said Kim Hongkyu, a senior at William & Mary. “But I’m also scared of getting a bad GPA so when the deadline approaches I naturally kick into overdrive.” Your body tells you to drag it on for as long as possible but deep down you know you still want to do it. So get on with it.
2. Rage Quit
No matter if it’s senioritis that causes gaming addiction or the other way around, the results are the same. “I was playing them [games] all day long,” said William Hubbard, a senior at William & Mary. “I didn’t go to class like three days out of five a week so I finally deleted my Xbox account.” You thought senioritis went down with all his games but wait for it. “I still wasted what’s left of the Fall semester on Twitter and Instagram,” Hubbard said. Guess there’s just more to it than a few games.
3. Audio Lectures
When you hate to study, it’s easy to wander off in the middle of a lecture. Don’t miss a word, sigh or moan from your professor by bringing an audio recorder to your lecture hall with you. “I would just turn it on in the middle of a lecture whenever I don’t feel like listening and I’ll just play the recording afterward if I missed anything,” Hongkyu said. Lay out the red carpet for senioritis rather than fighting it.
4. Camping Out
Every campus offers a refuge from the constant beckoning of Netflix and social media. Better still, you get to stay there forever unlike those fancy “one-hour reservation” study rooms at the library. “[In my car] I use a solar lamp and these large power banks to charge my phone and laptop,” said Alexandria Puccio, a senior at William & Mary. “So I can technically stay there like five days a week. I only go back [to my dorm room] to shower and grab snacks.” Way to fight senioritis by removing yourself from the din — and squander your on-campus housing budget.
5. Get A Job
You can’t focus on studying but don’t want to chat away the day on Instagram? Try getting a job instead. “I work at the music library in Ewell [Hall],” said Hannah Snesil, senior at William & Mary. “My job is to help people get books and CDs and I don’t really have time to look at my phone. Plus, I get to have a quiet space of my own whenever the library isn’t busy.” Kill time and spice up your resume. Sounds like a pretty good deal.
6. One for Two
Find a way to manage your study schedule that works for you. “If you can’t get satisfaction [in studying] you just make up some, like allowing yourself one hour of gaming for every two hours spent on a class,” said Colin Carmody, former webmaster of the William & Mary Composer’s League. Lavishing yourself with such king-sized rewards is only good when you’re working on the most tedious of tasks or else you’ll end up spending a third of your day in front of the TV.
7. The Mummy
This one is as much of a prank you can pull on your roommate as it is a practical way to combat senioritis. “I was inspired by the Korean military,” said Kim Dae-Sol, “[in which] I was a guard putting stickers on peoples’ phones before they entered a facility so they could never get distracted or take pictures of things so I was gonna turn off my phone and wrap it up in duct tape like a mummy.” All his games and social media–everything that could abet senioritis–were in there. “I thought myself a genius until I knew I had to use the Duo app on my phone to log onto Blackboard to submit my homework.” The Korean is not so Kreative when it comes to undoing a mess.
8. Work First, Party Later
Sometimes you can’t cure senioritis. But you do have three years in advance to cushion its impact. “I took maximum credit hours [of classes] for the first five semesters, cramming as many required classes as I could,” said Billy Nguyen, a senior at William & Mary. “Now I take lots of film classes and they don’t require much work outside of a single four-page essay in the end.” Having senioritis no longer makes a difference when you have no work to do.
The best remedy for senioritis might just be from the 18th century. When I hate to study I would go for the Mozart Treatment. It involves blasting myself with classical music for a quarter of an hour before I start working on anything. This actually boosts one’s memory even if it’s only for 10 minutes. What does this have to do with fighting senioritis? I feel more motivated when I know I’m smarter.
10. Think Of The Consequences
If none of these tricks work for you, then you’re in for a circus parade of failed classes, yelling parents and job applications thrown into the trash. I’m sure you’ll also enjoy an extra semester during which senioritis will again be coming after you.