Read at your own risk. CM has compiled the most dangerous and distracting things you can possibly do when you are supposed to be studying. Only the bravest, most studious readers can get through this list and still retain the will to learn. Can you make it?
1. Never Go Clubbing
Never ever grind on attractive strangers in the middle of a grody, yet irresistible, dance floor the night before a test. The buzz from your second shot of Fireball whisky and the throbbing in your head from the thumping bass will drive all thoughts of school from your weary head. Even if you manage to make it home at a reasonable hour, you’ll just pass out on the couch and sleep through your 8 a.m. exam anyway. Just hold off on going out until after the test and make a night out your reward.
2. Never Binge Watch Television
Binge watching shows, *coughNetflixcough*, is addicting, so you must resist the temptation, no matter what you want to watch, be it Grey’s Anatomy, Game of Thrones, Archer or Criminal Minds. All of these shows and countless others will draw you in with their intrigue, romance, cliffhangers and comedy. Also, all these shows will be waiting after your exam is over. Set up the site blocker on your browser, delete the app and put away the Xbox controller to resist the temptation.
3. Never Go To the Park
Going to the park, the green or the commons is a horrible idea when you are trying to study. Yes, you bring your books and claim that you are just going to study in the fresh air, but the outdoors is intoxicating. Even the best intentions lose their sway once you take in a nice big whiff of that clean air and the sun hits your back. And if your girlfriend brought along a picnic lunch because she knew you would get hungry and a Frisbee “just in case,” there is no way any work will get done.
4. Never Try To Be Gourmet
Cooking can be a daylong activity. Going to the store, preparing the ingredients, slicing, dicing, baking, sautéing and plating food all take a lot of time, especially if you want to make a delicious, hardcore five-course meal, like, let’s say: a freshly-baked baguette and roasted garlic, caprese salad, jasmine rice and mushroom/pepper medley stir-fry, a roasted breaded chicken breast with rosemary and a triple-layer chocolate cake. Do not attempt to make this incredibly irresistible, mouthwatering, from-scratch dinner for two the day before your test.
5. Never Practice Your Bartending Skills
While there might never be a wrong time to learn the art and science of mixology, the night before your big test is probably not the wisest choice. Nothing is wrong with making a few drinks, but what are you going to do with the finished products—pour them down the drain? Of course not! You’ll invite over some friends to sample your marvelous creations, but you can’t just kick them out afterwards because they can’t drive home. Now you have houseguests and studying with people over would be incredibly rude.
6. Never Break Out the Guitar
Study time might seem like the perfect time to break out the long-neglected acoustic hiding under your bed, but it is really a disaster waiting to happen. Your quiet study space will suddenly disappear and become your personal stage where an imaginary crowd of thousands cheers as you riff that perfect chord. And forget about opening a book for the rest of the week as soon as you play the first C-note of “Stairway to Heaven.”
7. Never Go on Facebook
Facebook is the black hole of social media; once you log in, there’s no coming out. You are bounced between endless videos of cats in boxes, recipes from Buzzfeed and #BSDMS posts (Bernie Sanders’ Dank Meme Stash). Occasionally something scary might pop up on your feed, like an update about the Zika epidemic or a video of Trump’s latest victory speech, but most of the time, the attractive clickbait will be humorous, like every College Magazine article ever. Set up that site blocker again!
8. Never “Accidentally” Leave Your Books at Home
Of course you meant to actually study at your friend’s house, but you forget your books at home. Now there is absolutely no way you can possibly study! Well, your friend did just get the new Street Fighter and it is for two players, so you might just have to help him practice for EVO 2016.
9. Never Start Cleaning
You start out by just reorganizing your desk and the next thing you know there is a vacuum in one hand and a Swiffer in the other. The act of cleaning might be relaxing and a tidy living space is always nice, but is a full-on spring-cleaning mania worth jeopardizing your studying? Once you start cleaning, you won’t be able to stop.
10. Never Overload on Studying
Believe it or not, but you can actually study too hard. Cramming a semester’s worth of information into an all-night study session messes with your brain and makes you freeze up during the exam. Sometimes studying for a reasonable amount of time and then going to bed early is the best and most responsible thing to do. After all, you can know the material like the back of your hand but what good is that if you can’t keep your eyes open?