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Home » Latest Posts » The Afterglow: 20 Thoughts After a One-Night Stand
Dating Hooking Up Life

The Afterglow: 20 Thoughts After a One-Night Stand

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Julianne Spingler   July 3, 2015

Congratulations, you’ve got your ticket to a special one-night-only show. No it’s not a concert, or a screening of the latest hipster film out at the local dive movie theater. It’s a one-night stand born out of the expert combination of poor lighting, a few too many dollar-cocktails and a playlist of Top 20 pop hits. Here are a few of the thoughts that come to mind when that initial high wears off and you realize that once was definitely enough.

1. “Where the hell am I? Oh, right…”

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2. “Yep, at least half of my clothing is tucked between the limbs of the strange man I shared a twin bed with last night.”

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3. “Alright, my bra strap is literally wrapped around his arm. Time to pull out those bomb-diffusing tricks I learned from binge-watching MacGyver on Netflix.”


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4. “How is he not awake right now? These pre-Cold War bed springs are loud enough to rouse Stalin himself from the grave.”

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5. “Isn’t there supposed to be an afterglow? All I see is the harsh morning light, and it’s not doing this guy any favors.”

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6. “Help! My phone is on its last dying breaths – I must promptly abort this mission.”

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7. “Should I leave a thank you note, or my number? Maybe just a Facebook friend request… That way he can see my picture, and I don’t have to attempt to find a pen in this dump.”

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8. “Well, I’ve just sealed my position in the fiery pits of hell for skipping out like this. He is probably a very nice man with a very nice family, and I just ditched him like a pair of white capris after Labor Day.”

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9. “Don’t look back, don’t look back. Okay, look back once. Nope, still not as cute as I remember. My conscience is clear.”

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10. “So this is what campus looks like before 8 a.m.? I would have never known. I think tomorrow is the day I start changing my ways. First order of business is to take a brisk walk.”

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11. “Don’t you judge me, morning joggers. If you’re sober enough to run at this hour, your life is clearly not as exciting as mine. I’m never getting up this early again.”

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12. “Everyone knows what I’m up to right now. If the look of shame in my eyes isn’t a dead giveaway, then the amount of Forever 21 I’m rocking before sunset definitely is.”

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13. “I should have just taken one for the team and stuck around long enough to see if I could squeeze a free breakfast out of him.”

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14. “Gosh, I’m starving. Is the dining hall even open right now? I shouldn’t even have to wonder about these things. I’m like some kind of peasant. Yet another reason to keep sleeping in.”

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15. “I just want a shower, my bed and a steaming plate of chocolate chip pancakes, in that order. No actually, all at once. I want it all at once. I deserve it for surviving this harrowing journey.”

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16. “What if he is one of those gentlemen that takes ladies off campus for date night? I could use one of those, and I’m sure his looks would grow on me if he did. ”

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17. “Who am I kidding? He didn’t get any of my jokes and his room smelled like hamsters. I’m allowed to have some standards.”

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18. “My self-confidence is at peak. I don’t care if I look and smell like a discarded mannequin left out in a dumpster overnight, I feel fierce.”

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19. “I think that I can do this whole casual hook-up thing. I need to start making plans for tonight.”

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20. “Never mind, I can’t risk seeing that guy again. Should I transfer?”

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About Julianne Spingler

I’m a Philadelphia native and a junior Journalism major at Temple University. Philly is my home, and it’s my goal as a writer to show the world what it has to offer.

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