An Honest Letter to the Bachelorette

Dear Kaitlyn,

I understand that you went into the Bachelorette looking for love. All the bachelorettes do. But I have a few issues with the way you went about this season.

First, was it absolutely imperative that so many of the group dates involved awkwardness, embarrassment and humiliation? The mariachi date, the sumo wrestling date, the Aladdin date (Although I secretly wish I could have been there for that one…) just to name a few. I’m starting to think the contestant Tony had the right idea. He’s a little cuckoo for Coco Puffs with all of his “healing” and plant talking and whatnot, but he was right. The first half of the season felt like a circus. I’m a little confused as to how the group dates you went on helped you build relationships with the contestants. (Ian was as well, but more on that later.)

Which brings me to Nick. What exactly caused you to bring him on the show again? Literally all of Bachelor Nation can’t stand him. Just a hint for next season’s Bachelorette, don’t let Nick Viall rain on your parade. Trust me, future Bachelorette, the third time is not the charm. I seriously just can’t believe you fell for him, Kaitlyn.

Third, although Ian was a total douche, what he told you before he left the show had a lot of truth in it. Yes, he shouldn’t have slut-shamed you on national TV, and yes, he is an arrogant asshat, but his comment that “you’re here to make out with a bunch of dudes on TV” was right on target. Admittedly his later statement calling himself an “enigma” and “a gift you unwrap for life” made him sound more like a lunatic than anything else, but surely you understand my concern.

Side note: What was the deal with your tattoos? If you’re afraid of birds, why do you have them tattooed to your arms? (I realize you told Ben H. the real meaning behind them, but I’m ranting about it anyway.)

The season finale was long and drawn out. I definitely didn’t like Nick, but he had a point: Why prolong the breakup? It was painfully obvious from the beginning of the finale episode – if not before then – that you were planning to pick Shawn over him. Perhaps you managed to fool a few people. Did the producers decide that Nick getting epically rejected for a second season in a row made for better TV? After he poured out his heart in an outrageously cheesy proposal speech that made me want to run to the toilet and barf up my dinner, that’s when you decided to let him go? That was cold, Kaitlyn, that was cold.

Sure, there were some sweet moments this season. But overall, you left me more disappointed than overjoyed. Oh, and congrats on your engagement, by the way.