It’s 10 p.m. and I’m sitting in the Taco Bell parking lot of my 1994 Chevy Caprice. Tears streaming down my face. Every other thought running through my mind like it’s track and field.
“How did I get myself into this? Where did I slip and let the time just go by? I need to call someone. I need help…”
I can barely navigate my device to find the number of someone who will be real with me. Then it dawned on me. I know who to call.
“Dad…what do I do? I’m in a relationship that I don’t care for anymore. My motivation isn’t what it used to be and now I don’t know what to do with my life. I miss being at home. I feel like I should have never came out here.”
“Are you happy with where you live? Do you feel comfortable with what’s going on in your life?”
“Then do what makes you happy. Make the changes best for you. Don’t let anyone stop you from being you. You don’t owe the world anything. So focus on yourself and do what you believe is best.”
“You’re right. Thank you…”
It’s About the Journey. Not the Destination.
I ordered the next rental car for an overnight trip back home. I packed all my belongings into three oversized black trash bags and left expensive items like TVs and furniture at her house. While packing, I managed to drop a 45-pound computer on my foot and watched it roll down the stairs. Leaving turned out as one of the most exhausting and painful moments of my life.
Dreading the 16-hour drive by myself, my thoughts and an injured foot, I thought about my next moves to success. I thought about what university life will look like. Whether my ex-girlfriend will move on with her life and if she’d turn out okay. At every other stop, I would rebandage my foot or just take a minute to relax. I remember one specific stop at a Sheetz gas station. I just sat there and cried. I committed to this change and I needed to stay strong, but I also just needed a minute to let it all out.
“This is for the best. This is to get us back on track. This is so you can achieve your dreams.”
I thought returning would prove a bad thing, but it was the best decision.
Pulling in around 11 p.m., I finally arrive at my house. I had not seen home in 2 years. A year passed since I’ve last seen my mom and brother. When the door creeks open and I see my mom’s beautiful eyes again, mine begin to re-enact a waterfall. These intense emotions flooded my system. This is real. It’s time to begin the healing process. It’s time to get back to work and do what I was meant to do. All my life, I came up with plans to tell my stories on the big screen. Everything from creating a list of ideas for the last 10 years, to realizing my potential with making short clips on Vine and YouTube. I knew I possessed a special talent for filmmaking and I needed to capitalize on that. I didn’t know how to start this journey, but it need to start with me going back to school.
Sometimes a reminder of your trials and tribulations can help you get back on track.
Filled with the ambition to tackle community college with my head up high, I started this journey with a dream to become a movie director. Slowly over the years, that changed into a love for storytelling and cinematography. With the knowledge I’ve learned about journalism and creative writing, I was able to shine towards my destination of an associate degree. Afterwards, that led me to Ohio to find love, but it only led to a distraction. However, after realizing my true potential, that fueled my drive and got me to rush towards the finish line.
Now 2 years later, I’m in year 4 of my 5-year plan. I’ve learned so much while attending Temple University. I’ve made many more connections and learned even more skills that complement my talent. I know more about my field than I ever could imagine. So many things ended up going right and so many things went wrong. No matter what, I stuck to the plan and came out better. I’ve learned so much about myself and what I will accomplish. Moving on with my life and focusing on myself became the best decision I ever made. I know that some things may present a challenge, but once you overcome those obstacles, the rewards will make a world of a difference.