College teaches us plenty of things about life: how to sleep as little as possible, how to neglect our responsibilities, and how to avoid the future. It also–at the very least–teaches you a whole new shiny vocabulary to spruce up your papers and conversations.
This is a great word to learn. Welcome to college, kiddos.
You reach this lovely shade of pale after weeks locked in the library during finals. What is the sun?
Just keep on extrapolating until you hit that magical page count.
Your art history final. Your other four finals.
Like the tough task of waking up for 9 a.m. classes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Like your professors who require that you print your assignments on a specific shade and thickness of paper.
Actually I don’t think any of us know exactly how to define this.
Your living conditions.
What you do to get the side of the room with the window. Sorry, roomie.
Ah, lovely college mood swings.
The boys you meet at parties.
13. Carpe Diem
The gentleman’s YOLO.
Bad news is always coming in the form of grades.
You feel this every time you realize you have no future job prospects. At all.
A perfect word for that strange mix of falling-apart furniture you brought to school for your off campus apartment.
Maybe someone told you college would be easy. This is the biggest misnomer on the planet.
Just like the love you have for your coffee-only diet. You may love it, but it certainly doesn’t love you back. Same with the third floor RA.
Basically every higher-level college class. Only a few people truly care.
Or, your thoughts on dining hall food.
The mating call of college bros everywhere.
Your dance style? Your love life?
All those weird late-night freshman year conversations.
As in Calculus or as in that one time you actually managed to finish your assignment more than an hour before class.
All of the classes you end up hating and spending way too much time on.
Cheap beer at parties.
College students have intensely strong opinions. They like to yell them late on weekends.
What you do to your problems when you try to fix things.
Like your grasp on your sanity.
33. Tax rebate
College students are broke. This word makes you sound smart, but also encourages rich Uncle X to slip you a few dollar bills at the Christmas party.
The disturbing display of finery that is the Under Armour sweatshirt section of the bookstore.
“Yes, mom. I’m fine, mom. Love you, too. Bye.”
Just say it instead of “then” or “so” all the time. Instant IQ points.
The kind of relationship you had with your freshman year roommate.
You’re waiting (and waiting, and waiting) to receive all of these for your hard work in your classes. Maybe someday.
Like how our love of late nights somehow coexists with our love of sleep.
Conflicts like these happen daily between your super-tidy roommate and you, the roommate whose dirty clothes piles seem to be growing some kind of spore.
“Professor I need an extension because my entire apartment flooded and I lost all my belongings including all of my books and my laptop.” Reality: there is a small leak.
Just water, kids.
…your mom when you forget to call for two weeks.
The kind of language you learn to sound fake-smart in class discussions.
You avoid these at all costs.
We know plenty about that.
The Netflix selections!
This slowly becomes more and more unhealthy as the semester goes on.
Good decision making skills? None of us actually have this. No real good decisions are made in college.
Nah, that one can hold off for a while.
If all else fails, you don’t actually have to know the definitions of any of these words. You just have to know how to pronounce them. Fake it until you make it: the motto of college students everywhere.