21 Things Floridians Say About Winter

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As a Floridian, your first winter in the North can be traumatizing. There were days when I was convinced that I was a cold-blooded reptile and the absence of the sun meant a slow, agonizing death. People from the South are largely unprepared for “real” winter. Here are some thoughts you’ll probably have as you struggle to survive in the cold, barren Northeast wasteland that is so different from your lush, humid homeland.

1. Winter clothes…? You mean cute sweaters, right?

 

2. Mom did not mean cute sweaters.

 

3. What do you mean, “leave your sandals at home?” Flip flops are for all kinds of weather!

 

4. Southern friends don’t think I can handle the cold.

 

5. Why are they turning all the fountains off?

 

6. It’s coming, isn’t it?

 

7. What is that?? Is that snow? SNOW IS AMAZING!

 

8. Dear all friends:

 

9. Why are my Northern friends not excited? There’s so much to do!

 

10. What do you mean we can’t play sports outside—

 

11. This is not what I wanted.

 

12. Why did I think driving in the snow was a good idea?

 

13. The sun came out and now I can die happy.

 

14. It’s gone again. I am going to die in this frozen tundra.

 

15. Walking to class in the cold<<<everything else.

 

16. Boiling hot showers have me like

 

17. Elsa lied. The cold bothers absolutely everyone. AKA me.

 

18. Wish my Florida friends would quit posting pics of warmth.

 

19. Maybe I can just stay in my dorm and hibernate until spring.

 

20. Groundhog said 6 more weeks of winter?

 

21. This is the end.

A Floridian learning to survive in the tundra that is the Midwest. Sophomore English major at the University of Notre Dame. Goal in life is to be a cross between Jane Goodall and Walt Disney.

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