Top 10 Reasons FSU Students Get Wasted

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It’s no mystery college students go out and get inebriated, plastered, sloshed—whatever word best suits your style. FSU students capitalize on their inherent talent for taking “a night on the town” to a whole new level. From Mandatory Makeout Monday’s at Clyde’s (no mandatory kisses involved) to Wine Down Wednesdays at the Mint Lounge, Tallahassee manages to fill every night of the week with an excuse for drowning in vodka waters.  From where does this party obsession stem? I asked fellow FSU students what urges them to party, and here are ten Seminole’s responses

1.“To forget their crippling debt.” – Ella Mclellan, Senior

First of all, retweet. Second, what’s a better way to forget the thousands of dollars you’re currently drowning in than spending even more money on alcoholic beverages? Average loan amounts at FSU equal out to around $27,000 by your senior year. Cheers to paying that lump sum for a bachelor’s when the same amount could buy you a two-door Ford Mustang.

2.  “To scout for girls/guys.” – Micah Beneby, Sophomore

Countless ranking articles brand FSU as a university containing the hottest of the hot. As a result, guys venture out to Standard to flaunt their ability to shot gun a beer in record time, while girls steer clear of those guys at the bar and find the men—preferably the ones in grad school. Noles might major in English, but they major in Chemistry at the club. Something about dim lighting and the stale stench of sweat initiates mating calls.

3. “To get ready with friends and dress up in something other than the yoga pants you’ve worn for the past week.” – Sammie Eunice, Junior

Ladies, get your party playlist ready; it’s time to trade out your Victoria Secret yoga pants to the black, ripped skinny jeans you got for Christmas. Nothing motivates you more to wear human clothes than a night out with your gals, especially in a town that lets students forget for one night the laundry they’ve neglected for two weeks. Their only mission: remember how to use the Uber app when 3 a.m. rolls around.

4. “To save me from hanging out with myself.” – Jacob Harrelson, FSU Alumnus

Surrounding yourself with students who also struggle with 10 page papers, 8 a.m.’s and the infamous “Did we even learn this?” exams really brings a feeling of unity to the club. Imagine this: You walk into the bar and take a seat on the last stool available. The bartender walks over. You ask for a whiskey on the rocks. Looking to your right, you notice the person in the next stool chose a similar beverage. Without any kind of introductory conversation, you make eye contact and soon find out you both just failed your Financial Accounting exam. There’s nothing quite like chugging whisky with a stranger over a shared failure.

5. “Because the clubs and bars provide eventful interactions every time I go out.” – Raphael Sanchez, Junior

If you’re a laid-back soul who enjoys a casual Bud Light, visit Ken’s, popular since 1966.  Our beloved Tallanasty lives by the mantra, “why fix what isn’t broken?” Or if “party” is your middle name, the Recess nightclub is a splash. No, really. They have a pool in the middle of the dance floor.

6. “The clubs are like church; we could pray at home and save money, but doing it with a bunch of other crazy people is more enticing.” – Christian Ortiz, Junior

Need I say more? Man, I love a good analogy.

7. “Nothing is more refreshing than procrastination and a couple of beers.” – Carlos Fernandez, Senior

A short, sweet and to the point statement spoken from an FSU Senior, obviously well enameled in all that consumes Tallahassee nightlife. He definitely isn’t the only student to postpone that god-awful group project for a $4 Y-bomb. Call us crazy, but downing a margarita paints a much prettier picture than typing another essay about the themes in James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room. We answer quicker to a bar’s beckoning than to a Blackboard announcement from our professor reminding us of an upcoming exam.

8. “FOMO” – Kayla Shaw, Junior

We 21st century millennials cling to this infamous abbreviation for ‘Fear of Missing Out.’ FOMO is real, people. We all know the feeling of pulling up Snapchat while sick in bed to see our best friend’s 10-second documentation of her dancing at the Strip. Classic.

9. “It gets pretty lonely, so going out is a fun way to meet cool people.” – Carla Sanchez, Junior

giphy.com

giphy.com

Contrary to popular belief, college towns somehow obtain an aura about them that causes its inhabitants to feel lonely. Despite the hundreds of thousands of students at FSU, finding your niche can be difficult. However, most students submerge this loneliness under alcohol-stocked shelves at Pot’s happy hour.

10. “As Noles, we have a lot to celebrate.” – Alex O’Daniel, Senior

*Insert FSU Fight Song here* On 1,391 acres of greenery National Champions roam. From our National Championship win in 2013 and the Women’s Soccer National Championship in 2014, FSU students do indeed have a lot to celebrate. Walking alongside the athletes, our scholars stride. Let FSU’s Honors Program average GPA of 4.4 soak in. Plus, The College of Law ranks as number one in all of Florida. If over-intoxication ever gets you in trouble, you know who to call for an attorney. So, ladies and gentlemen, throw back a shot in honor of being a part of the best university in the nation. Press on, Seminoles.

 

Senior at Florida State University studying Editing, Writing and Media. Lover of good lighting and Nicholas Sparks. Small town girl with a big city mindset.

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