• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to secondary navigation
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

College Magazine

College Life, Dating, Career & Campus Advice

  • Colleges
    • College Guides
    • College Rankings
    • Campus Life
      • Academics
      • Dating
      • Freshman Year
      • Health
      • Party
  • Majors
    • All Majors
    • Most Popular Majors
    • Choosing a Major
  • Intern
    • Internship Directory
    • How to Get an Internship
    • How to Write a Resume
    • How to Write a Cover Letter
    • How to Interview
    • How to Network
    • Career 101
    • Find Your Passion Career
  • Money
    • How to Make Money
    • How to Save Money
    • How to Get a Job
    • Credit Cards 101
    • College Loans
  • Travel
    • Study Abroad
    • College Spring Break
    • How to Travel Cheap
    • Things to Do
  • Shop
    • College Magazine Shop
    • Gift Guides
    • College Packing List
  • Find your college or university
  • Colleges
    • College Guides
    • College Rankings
    • Campus Life
      • Academics
      • Dating
      • Freshman Year
      • Health
      • Party
  • Majors
    • All Majors
    • Most Popular Majors
    • Choosing a Major
  • Intern
    • Internship Directory
    • How to Get an Internship
    • How to Write a Resume
    • How to Write a Cover Letter
    • How to Interview
    • How to Network
    • Career 101
    • Find Your Passion Career
  • Money
    • How to Make Money
    • How to Save Money
    • How to Get a Job
    • Credit Cards 101
    • College Loans
  • Travel
    • Study Abroad
    • College Spring Break
    • How to Travel Cheap
    • Things to Do
  • Shop
    • College Magazine Shop
    • Gift Guides
    • College Packing List
  • Find your college or university
  • About Us
  • Team
  • Write
  • Apply
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sign Up
  • Advertise

You are here: Home / Life / Dating / How to Tell A Guy You Aren’t Interested—Without Ghosting

How to Tell A Guy You Aren’t Interested—Without Ghosting

March 15, 2017 //  by Freddie Jones//  Leave a Comment

Shares11Facebook11Tweet

I will admit, I struggle to read girls sometimes. I’m sure many of us do, right? Mixed signal after mixed signal. Instead of a straight-up “no” to clear our anticipating minds, we get let on, left confused and irritated. It’s hard enough trying to not misinterpret friendly seemingly flirtatious gestures from true romantic ones at times. Why not cut us some slack and just reject us?

Some guys appreciate a straight-up approach. “The only way I’ve been curved was by simply not getting a text back. If I’ve ever started feeling a girl, and I can tell she doesn’t feel the same. I just don’t even put myself in the predicament for her to curve me,” said University of South Florida sophomore Martin Reid.

Guys may wonder: Why not just stop it before it begins? Why not just tell us you’re not interested? Why send texts messages that have us seeing hearts, when you’re really not that into it? We’ll begin to really like you but the admiration isn’t mutual.

Like for instance, the time you get a girl’s number and there’s conversation right after via text.

“Hey, wassup? How are you?”

“I’m fine. What about you?”

“I’m good. You wanna maybe grab lunch tomorrow, after 5th block?” Will you be free?”

“Yeah, um… I might be. I’ll let you know”

“Ok. Cool.”

Now, I’m sure this conversation isn’t exactly how it goes down, but you get the drift. She didn’t want to come off as rude, which is why she answered the guy like she would anyone else—up until the second-to-last line.  Her hesitation could signal that she’s not interested. But some of us probably won’t catch on, unless she just stops responding, never gets back to us about the lunch date or outright says, “I’m not interested.”

Of course, no one likes to get rejected. But that’s part of life. Not everyone will reciprocate your feelings. Even if it stings, we’ll bounce back with grace.

I spoke to some college women to get their perspective, hoping they could enlighten me on the issue and give some key signals to when they’re just not feeling the potential relationship.

Sometimes avoiding the awkwardness makes ghosting easier. “I think girls choose to go ghost rather than tell the guy that they are uninterested because it makes things less awkward. Imagine telling someone you just don’t want to talk to them.  It just comes out as so harsh and blunt,” said University of Florida sophomore Kierra Mathis.

And sometimes the guy’s initial approach turned off the girl somehow. “I think women ghost men because something happened that caused them to lose interest and they don’t want to be rude about it; or the man did something to hurt the girl’s feelings,” said Florida State University junior Nicole Juarez.

Outright telling someone you’re not interested is hard. It can definitely seem intimidating, so no wonder why many girls just do their best to avoid the confrontation and spare our feelings. “I felt that it would be rude if I said no when he asked me out.  About two weeks into the ‘relationship’ I stopped responding to his calls and text messages.  Looking back on it, that was a very messed up thing for me to do,” said Mathis.

Though Mathis didn’t want to hurt his feelings, she seemed to also feel an unspoken amount of pressure to say yes when he initially asked her out. I can see now how this can be a double-whammy for many girls. Its either say “yes” and feel totally uncomfortable or say “no” and feel somewhat terrible.  And that leads to the whole consent conversation, an intense and complex topic in itself.

We can all agree that girls have their own reasons for ghosting—some more serious than others.  Some feel the need to protect us guys, while some reasons are personal to the girl. Some feel pressured. So ghosting seems to go deeper than “she’s not interested.” Maybe our communication causes the rift, from the guy not understanding if she’s even interested to her not completely sure on why she isn’t.

I leave it for you to decide. Is communication the key?  Is anyone to blame?

Shares11Facebook11Tweet

Filed Under: Dating

About Freddie Jones

He is currently a sophomore at the University of Florida, majoring in English. He loves to write and is passionate about all things social! With the two, he aims to make an indelible mark on the American legal system

You May Also Like

long distance relationship quotes couple cuddling in mountains

15 Long Distance Relationship Quotes that Make the Distance Seem Shorter

best tinder profile tips

10 Best Tinder Profile Tips to Make Your Soulmate Swipe Right

cute relationship goals couple kissing overlooking sunset

21 Cute Relationship Goals to Make It Last Forever

Most romantic spots on FSU campus

The 10 Most Romantic Spots on FSU’s Campus

dating in college tips from college sweethearts

10 Tips for Dating in College from Actual College Sweethearts

tinder dating shrek onion

A Boy as an Onion: “And SCENE!”

freshman dating

How to Successfully Date During Your Freshman Year of College

dating in college

How My Boyfriend Saved My Life

Long-Distance Relationship

Handling Long-Distance as a Professional Worrier

Star-Crossed Lovers on a College Campus

long distance

What My Long Distance Relationship Taught Me

guy with arm around girl smiling

10 Quotes to Help You Make Sense of Your Complicated Millennial Romance

10 Things You Need to Hear After Being Cheated On

Summer Love Turns to Summer Tragedy

10 Sex and the City Episodes to Remind You That Your BFFs Can Be Your Soul Mates Too

college relationships

From Alone to Happy in Three Days

feel happy

Moving on from an Ex by Feeling Happy for Them

How I Met Your Mother robin

21 How I Met Your Mother Quotes to Get You Through Your Single Slump

You Don’t Need to Lose Yourself in a College Relationship

What It’s Really Like Dating Your High School Sweetheart in College

How to Give a Friend Relationship Advice When You Know They’ll Do the Opposite

cheap date ideas hiking

Dating Freshman Year Is One of the Worst Things You Can Do

sue heck

Abraham Lincoln Taught Me That I’m not Ready for Dating

Push through the Awkward: Let’s Up Your Conversational Game

Previous Post: «food instagram accounts 10 Mouth Watering Food Instagram Accounts to Follow ASAP
Next Post: 10 Best Gen-Eds at UF That Won’t Make You Cry Ugly Tears UF Reitz Union»

Reader Interactions

Leave a Comment

Primary Sidebar



Enter to Win!

Trending Posts

most beautiful campuses in the midwest ohio state campus
13341

The 10 Most Beautiful Campuses in the Midwest

best colleges for advertising mad men
1478

The 10 Best Colleges for Advertising

340

10 Steps To The Perfect Galentine’s Day

feshman year to graduation uf
303

The Leader with Nobody to Lead

82

10 Can’t Miss Inspirational Speakers at The Passion Summit

Footer

logo

College Magazine is the national daily guide to campus life. Our articles for college students feature university rankings of U.S. colleges, college guides, academic advice, college prep, career advice, student health and collegiate dating tips.

Written by students for students, by a team of journalists from universities nationwide, we’re on the pulse of the college experience.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Colleges

  • College Guides
  • College Rankings
  • Campus life
  • Academics
  • Dating
  • Freshmen Year
  • Health
  • Party

Majors

  • All College Majors
  • Most Popular Majors
  • Choosing a Major

Intern

  • Internships Directory
  • How to Write a Resume
  • How to Write a Cover Letter
  • How to Interview
  • How to Get an Internship
  • How to Network

Money

  • How to Make Money
  • How to Save Money
  • How to Get a Job
  • Credit Cards 101
  • College Loans

Travel

  • Study Abroad
  • College Spring Break
  • How to Travel Cheap
  • Things to Do

Shop

  • College Packing List
  • Gift Guides
  • About Us
  • Team
  • Write
  • Apply
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sign Up
  • Advertise

Copyright © 2019 College Magazine · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc.