Folks, it’s February. The smitten girl wears her pink, the single girl flirts her way into a red dress (or out of) and the cynical brat wears black. Like her soul. But for now, we’re going to focus on the pessimistic lover. The proverbial “all guys suck” type of female who before long will be gray and wrinkled catering to her begonias and cats. Contrary to popular belief, a select few male counterparts still roam the Earth. There are guys out there who will indeed buy you a drink with no expectations.
For the first time in history, I (a girl), am taking the side of the nice guy who supposedly finishes last.
Friday night arrives, and a gaggle of girls are occupied by their hair straighteners, the 15th top they’ve tried on and frantically fluttering about the apartment because their favorite lip-gloss went missing. Once everyone is fully primped, the girls make their way out. Five loaded coronas later, everyone begins to feel the happy hour buzz. Heavy flirting starts to mix in with the alcohol consumption. But for one girl in particular, flirting is as far as it will go. She constantly has her guard up. Wishing lids were handed out at the bar to protect her drink, this girl believes all guys have ulterior motives.
A guy from across the bar notices her standing with her girlfriends. Even from afar he can see a slight sparkle in her eyes. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but he doesn’t want to leave the establishment without at least saying “Hey.” Keen and observant as he is, he sees she is drinking a Bud Light Platinum—an automatic attraction. He strides over to the bar, purchases a Bud Light and bravely walks into the lion’s den. The girl’s friends take the hint and shuffle away a few feet to give their friend some time to talk to him.
“I spotted you from across the bar. And I definitely couldn’t let go of the fact that you’re drinking a beer. Hope you don’t mind, but I bought your next round.”
“Honestly, I truly have never seen a prettier girl.”
“I know what you’re doing. You buy this drink for me and think that a simple act such as this will sway me into going home with you. And that’s disgusting. How dare you.”
“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t…”
“Exactly. You didn’t think. Here’s your drink. Try your trick on someone else.”
Utterly confused, the guy sets the still full Bud Light back on the bar and goes home for the night. The end.
All right. Maybe this scenario is a stretch, but the overarching idea here is that men do exist who don’t expect anything in return after buying you a drink. Surprised? Of course you are. Today’s culture and dating world has completely manipulated all girls into thinking guys are scum underneath the scum of the Earth. Louisiana State University student Devin Dimitrios said he buys girls drinks just to talk to them. “I can’t just expect she’s gonna want to smash!” he said.
I’m not here to tell you that all men are knights in shining armor; however, some were raised right. “In our culture there is a very positive social custom that you buy gifts for those around you; not because it’s an obligation or you expect anything back. That’s why I buy girls drinks,” Florida State University senior Peter Milios said.
We all have this preconceived notion that guys don’t have any realm of emotion living within them; it’s okay if we yell and scream obscenities at them because we don’t like the way they looked at us when we walked across the street. But how would you feel if roles were reversed? Granted, most don’t want to meet their soul mate under strobe lights at the club. But not every guy who walks through those club doors is “just another guy who wants to get in your pants.” Some do not expect anything at all. “I just want a simple thank you,” Milios said.
College subconsciously trains women to immediately put up the Great Wall of China look-a-like when any guy approaches. A lot of the time, I’ll admit, this is necessary. But embodying all things Alcatraz when any person of the male persuasion shows an interest in us is not okay. How dare we think its okay to treat all guys like scum based on a generalization? How many girls hate being called basic after their Starbucks coffee purchase? This is no different.
I asked LSU student Michael Formby his intentions when buying a drink for a girl. His answer?
“At least to start a conversation with them to see who they are.” Confused, I asked if he’d want to start a conversation without a drink. “Yeah, I would—but its just another tool in the tool box,” Formby said.
To all the girls reading this who are up in arms that I’m sh-t talking my “own kind,” I say get over it. I’m still a woman through and through. I know boys can suck. A lot of them don’t think things through, can’t connect with you on your deepest, darkest emotions and let’s be real—they always seem to have that man stench, ya know? But believe it or not, some guys want to develop a relationship with someone—and my sources prove that. Guess you Negative Nancy’s need to move out to Louisiana.
So, throttle back the cynical demeanor, ladies. Keep this up and you’ll soon be remembered as “The Girl Who Cried Ass.” Never heard of this modern-day tale? The girl calls a guy an ass so many times that eventually her listeners tune her out because they’ve all found their Prince Charming. After all, the guy who bought you the Bud Light could end up being the love of your life. Don’t miss out.