Want to look stylish but not down to spend hundreds of dollars on preppy cardigans and chamois leather button downs? No worries. Even the laziest cheapskates of college dudes can reinvent their look with a few tasteful tees. Stay true to your personality while showing the ladies that simple is the new fashionable.
HANG IN THERE TEE
Compatible Personality Types: INFP, ENFJ, ENFP, ESFJ
Sloths are the latest fad, and this shirt takes strides toward showing your caring side. “If I was feeling down, or having a particularly challenging week, and saw a guy wearing this shirt, it would definitely lift my spirits,” La Sierra University sophomore Paige Matsuda said. “Even though the sloth is barely hanging on, he is totally at peace. If a little animal can hang on, so can I.” Make a lady’s day and pick some digits up in the process—the Hang In There Tee is the gentle way to climb into a woman’s life.
KITTY CONE TEE
Compatible Personality Types: ESFJ, ISFP, ESTP, ESFP
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed in college, it’s that women swoon for confidence. If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about this shirt, it’s that only a confident dude can pull it off. Everything about this tee makes you stand out in a crowd, and if you’re looking for a bold wardrobe change, this is it. “I would like to see a guy in this because it shows that they’re sensitive and that they like cats,” Walla Walla University senior Johanna Chevrier said. “Also it shows that they’re down for ice cream.” What better way to win a girl’s heart than through food? Print off a BOGO Baskin Robbins coupon before you go to class—you’re going to need it.
CURLY OCTOPUS TEE
Compatible Personality Types: ENTJ, ENTP, ISTP, ISFP
Unlike real octopi, this shirt won’t camouflage you in the crowd of other bachelors on campus. The key is to avoid wearing this tee with blue jeans. Matching the Curly Octopus Tee with some slim-fit khakis shows the ladies that you understand how complementary colors work all while looking “unintentionally” stylish. The Curly Octopus Tee breathes life into the ordinary and shows that a cephalopod’s role isn’t to stay in the shadows.
HIPSTER LION TEE
Compatible Personality Types: INTJ, INTP, INFP, ISFJ
“Anyone who wears a shirt of a lion with such luscious locks is definitely worth getting to know,” Matsuda said. What does this shirt say about its wearer? A few words come to mind: poetic, intellectual, profound and stylish. If you want a romance like the ones you read about, slip this sucker on along with some hipster frames of your own and hang out by the English department. You’ll find the Lizzy to your Mr. Darcy in no time.
GEOMETRIC FOX TEE
Compatible Personality Types: INTJ, ENTP, ESTJ, ISTP
Girls love a bad boy, and if you’ve seen Zootopia, you know that foxes do what they want. Girls also love a challenge, and if you’ve heard “What Does the Fox Say?,” you know that foxes seldom speak. Without saying a word, this shirt tells that cutie in Chem 2 everything she needs to know—that you won’t be an easy catch. When you wear this soft cotton tee, you’re the fox and she’s the hound. Let the games begin.
DINO NIGHT TEE
Compatible Personality Types: INTP, ENTP, ISTJ, ISFP
This top might be a graphic tee, but it leaves out the gory details. Reminiscent of Jurassic Park, this tee embraces your geeky side without overdoing it. “I’d like to see this sick Dino Night Tee on a guy—it would show that he’s fun but also simple since it’s a basic black T-shirt,” Pacific Union College junior Rachel Acob said. “Also dinosaurs are awesome.” The Mesozoic Era ended 245 million years ago, but you’re a relic she can still get her hands on.
Dunder Mifflin Tee
Compatible Personality Types: ENTJ, ENFJ, ENFP, ESFP
The Office is the greatest (at least that’s what she said). Any dude who slips on this T-shirt should prepare for a day of compliments and a line of women. Before leaving home in your new NBC-inspired attire, brush up on the most classic Michael Scott quotes and mannerisms to sell the part—if you do it right, you just might find your soup snake. Perhaps the greatest part of this shirt is that you won’t need to declare bankruptcy after Prime shipping it.
Compatible Personality Types: ISTJ, ESFJ, ISFP, ESTP
Finally, a shirt that shows the masculine side of pandas. The paradox of detail and simplicity in the face of this ursine will intrigue the cutie in your calc class before finals roll around. “This shirt is simple and the lines are clean,” Walla Walla University sophomore Autumn Jones said. “I like that it’s not too crazy and it’s not too colorful.” Snagging this white tee off the digital shelf shows that you’re a free thinker and proves you can make anything look masculine (even fluffy white bears).
State Farm Tee
Compatible Personality Types: INTP, ISTJ, ISTP, ESFP
Pull out the khaki slacks and practice your hideous voice…it’s time to show the ladies that you can make even insurance seem attractive. If you’re the jokester of your friend group or the homewrecker quarterback, this small investment will match your personality and benefit your love life. From now on, your name is Jake and your game is heartbreak.
TRIBAL WOLF TEE
Compatible Personality Types: INFJ, ENFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ
Girls dig men with tribal tattoos, and they love werewolves (remember when “Team Jacob” was blasted everywhere?), so why wouldn’t they love this shirt too? “The unique patterns make this different from a typical wolf shirt,” Sierra College junior Tamara Jarcevic said. “It’s hip and tasteful.” The eyes of this wolf quickly grasp hers, and soon she’ll be dying to know what mysteries lie beneath. Offer to answer her questions, but only over a cup of coffee.