It’s the most wonderful time of the year – March Madness; did you think I was talking about Christmas? And if you needed to understand why the first two days of The Tournament is ultimate sporting event, here’s why:
1. The first day of March Madness like walking into a sorority mixer where the ratio is 3:1 in your favor. Victory doesn’t only feel possible, but inevitable.
2. The first-round optimism is contrasted with the second-round gloom. Halfway through the mixer (the March Madness of equivalent of the end of the first weekend), you’ll find out that half the girls have boyfriends, and another third are not interested solely due to the fact someone may have shottied you. Two of your most promising Final Four teams and an Elite Eight darkhorse: now history
3. Gamewatch parties = unlimited boneless honey barbecue wings
4. Your friend who thinks he’s really into sick new music (but really just worships GoodMusicAllDay) finding some sort of athem-esque rap sampled over the CBS March Madness theme song.
5. Sappy montages with Bryce Drew and Gus Johnson.
6. Picking that surging 11-seed over the floundering 6-seed, your roommate betting you a 30 rack on the outcome, the 6-seed taking a one-point lead with 20 seconds left and the 11-seed draining the winning 3-pointer with a second remaining.
7. Obsessively refreshing your group’s ESPN page after every round of games.
8. A moment of silence for Adam Morrison’s mustache
9. That wiry, little-known guard leading his team to the Sweet 16 and trending topic #dominance. “He’s such a boss.”
10. Listening to your friend brag about how he’s going to win $2,000 in that sick gambling pool he’s in with his dad’s company, then watching the steam come out of his ears after the 5-seed he picked to reach the Final Four loses by 20 in the first round.
11. The Sports Illustrated March Madness Cover
12. Other than the Super Bowl, the only time of the year where you don’t have to convince that girl you really want to hook up with to come to your school’s grimy sports bar.
13. More wings.
14. CBS Sportsline up on 92 percent of computers during lecture.
15. Three people attending your discussion session on Friday afternoon, and you not being one of them.
16. The entire school suddenly having the urge to play pick-up basketball.
17. The inevitable And-1 sleeveless shirts they bring with them, that were last worn about eight years ago
18. Building momentum for a Final Four trip down to New Orleans.
19. Someone saying “I’m down, but we need to go to Popeyes at least five times.”
20. One of your roommates going great lengths to tell everybody that they once played against someone in the tournament in high school.
21. Him not shutting up how that someone was a huge douchebag that always complained about getting fouled.
22. Wondering whether or not Greg Gumbel’s hair actually grows, or if it just permanently stays the same length.
23. Being amazed by one of your friend’s amazing/scary/useless ability to know which conference every single mid-major was from.
24. Temporarily becoming a huge fan of Winthrop, Creighton or any other school that you would never be able to locate on a map.
25. Still refreshing that bracket.
25A. Basketball in its purest form. Inspired and pulsating, with every player leaving everything they’ve got out on the court.