When Your Ex Slithers Back

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 Ah, summer break. You may be staying in town to take summer classes, travelling for a sweet internship or making your way back to your hometown. The possibilities are endless for you. 

But heading home means you may run into an ex. That could get real awkward real quick. What should you do if your ex comes slithering back like a snake? 

Navigating the Friend Zone:

If you want to keep your relationship simple, stay clear of conversations about feelings and why things didn’t work.  Instead, talk about the future, individually and together.

It’s a good idea to chat about where your lives are going. Let your ex know the awesome ways you plan to spend your summer. Getting each other caught up on your accomplishments is a smart, cool way to feel connected but not too intimate.

Set those boundaries (how much time you’ll spend together, how often you should text, etc.). It’ll help your old sweetie to better realize your summer schedule so that you don’t end up pestering each other. If you both have no intentions of trying to make a romantic relationship work, keep your distance — especially if one or both of you is seeing someone new.

Getting Back Together

Chances are your ex will take one look at your beach bod and want you back. Just remember that some things are in the past for a reason. You and your old partner may not be any good together, or maybe it just wasn’t the right time.

If you’re considering getting back together — you’ve got some work to do. First, you need to figure out the problems that ended the relationship. Does he have an anger problem? Did she let her jealously get the best of her? If you haven’t taken steps toward changing whatever made you sever ties the first time, they will hold you back again. There’s no point in trying again if nothing has changed.

Once you’ve pinned down the issues, you need to do some exploring. Ideally, since you two have been apart, you’ve both done some growing. What’s important then is finding if the new you and the new version of your ex are even compatible together. It would be a waste of time to fall for your old partner again only to find they’re a completely different person.

Keeping Your Distance

So you saw your ex at the store and now you’re trying to stay low-key. It’ll be tough to navigate if you hang around the same circles. If you’re hanging in a big group and don’t want to speak to him, don’t address people by name; just simply say, “hello” (or some cooler greeting). That way you aren’t being rude, but you aren’t pretending to be cool with your ex either.

Your ex’s presence should not keep you from being with your friends, but you could always ask beforehand if your he or she will be joining. That’ll relieve any anxiety about seeing your ex partner if they don’t show up or let you know what to expect if they do show up.

Images by sheknows.com and someecards.com.

Senior > English > University of Missouri

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