There comes a time where every relationship reaches a rut. You feel neglected, annoyed, underwhelmed, or even trapped. But the thought of completely breaking things off doesn’t make you happy either. Sometimes taking a break is the right move.
What exactly does a break mean? According to onlinedating.com, a break gives you breathing room and time to explore your options if you are feeling confined in your relationship. If you do decide it’s time to take a break, you and your partner must make rules.
Ultimately, the rules of a break are up to you and your partner. But it is important that you two talk it out and make rules. A break is hard enough, not setting up any boundaries will only lead to more messy problems.
Here are three basic ground rules you should set:
Establish how long the break will be
You don’t want to leave the other person hanging. Give some sort of timeline of how long you need to think about your relationship.
Staying in contact
You both need to agree on how much, if any, contact should be made. Sometimes, no contact can be best. “I made the mistake of not being clear that I didn’t want to talk to my boyfriend during a break and things went bad really fast,” said Ashley Chan, a sophomore from the University of California, Irvine. “He still texted and called me daily, which was something I didn’t want.”
Hooking up with other people
This is where things can get ugly. If you both agree that it’s okay to hook up with other people, be sure that it is something that both of you want 100%.
“I thought I’d be okay with my girlfriend hooking up with other people if I got to do the same,” said Jake Luciano, a sophomore from California State University, Northridge. “But when I found out she did, I was devastated and angry.
This can easily open up feelings of jealousy and betrayal and it can be hard to want to get back together once this line has been crossed.
It may sound weird to set rules for a break, but think of it as a type of insurance. It will help clear both your minds while you are thinking over your relationship. While taking a break may be an extreme measure, it could be just the thing to save your relationship, if that’s what you really want.