1. Sandra Bullock wrestled with an envelope. For a second, it looked like she was going to lose but then…those guns!
2. Sascha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter looked quite Miserables during their musical performance. They must have just caught a glimpse of Hathaway’s dress.
3. There was a lot of dancing, since this year’s Oscar theme was music in film. Wait, when was that NOT the theme?
4. Nicole Kidman sympathized with someone being played off the stage with Jaws music. But only for a second…
5. “Hey Harry, do you dig vampires, or do you strictly prefer red-headed witches? I’m awkward…”
6. “I dreamed a dream…that one day my agent and/or publicist would encourage me to wear proper undergarments including but not limited to bras, panties, and pasties and discourage dresses that create provocative visual illusions.”
I mean come on…she wears a dress like that and then she’s going to talk about how we’re “living in a culture that commodifies sexuality of unwilling participants.” In my book, if you wear a dress that looks like nipples, people are going to talk about your nipples.
Also, cut the crap about being surprised at your win. Taylor Swift’s got that one covered.
7. Quentin Tarantino was weird as usual.
8. “I get to stay up past my bedtime!”
9. Who run the world? Adele.
10. And of course, there was this.