Thanksgiving: An Overrated Break of Epic Proportions

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Thanksgiving break, a magical time filled with family, food, relaxation–who the hell am I kidding? In college, Thanksgiving break is worse than having four tests and a research paper all due on the same day. Even though Thanksgiving break sounds worse than running out of data on your phone in the first week of the month, it’s still an incredible time to be alive.

The Ride Home

Expectation: You enjoy a relaxing and enjoyable drive back home.

Reality: You actually get stuck sitting on the highway forever.

Unless your car jumps to light-speed faster than the Millennium Falcon and instantly gets you from college to your hometown, prepare yourself for a road trip that lasts an eternity. Everyone and their pledge brother decided to head home on the same day. If you happen to squeeze into a four seater with six bros, it would be wise to sit in the trunk since there’s probably more space there. “Your butt falls asleep from sitting for so long and your back and neck cramp up because there is no comfortable way to take a nap,” Florida State University sophomore Caroline Mozo said.

The Vibe

Expectation: You spend Thanksgiving break relaxing on the couch.

Reality: Every teacher bombards you with work. Every. Single. One.

When you finally make it home after that horrible drive, you just want to sit back and relax on your fluffy bed with your fluffy pillows next to your fluffy dogs and fall asleep. But wait, you have a paper due the Monday you come back. Oh yeah, and finals are in less than a week. You barely have any time to breathe as it is. Better yet, just stop breathing to spare time. “I’ll be really thankful this year if I find any amount of time this break to not do school work,” Florida State University junior Michael Monroy said. Petition to make Thanksgiving break not a thing and get an extra week for winter break, anybody?

The Grocery Store

Expectation: You quickly make a run to the corner grocery store and buy a giant turkey the day before Thanksgiving.

Reality: The line at the grocery store lasts longer than the line at Walt Disney World’s Space Mountain.

If your mom ever sent you to preform this day-long task, don’t feel alone. “I waited so long for a turkey once that a few old guys started playng dominos and had a tournament,” Tallahassee Community College freshman Marcel Martinez said. After standing in the long, winding line for what felt like eternity, you make it inside the store and find the last juicy turkey. As you approach the line to pay, your mom bursts into the store with a Sparta-kick Leonidas would be proud of, skips the line and goes directly to where your location. Feeling used, you realized your presence was just a ploy to avoid the grocery store line, and you leave the store holding that ten pound turkey full of pride and a few tears running down your cheeks.

Thanksgiving Day

Expectation: Thanksgiving Day is a great day full of friends, family and most importantly, food.

Reality: Thanksgiving actually turns out to be an awesome day.

Thanksgiving Day is the sliver of hope full of cheering on your fantasy team to catching up with family and friends. Stuff your face with an astronomical amount of incredible food and look over the vast ocean of cousins and grandparents and realize how proud you want them to be of you away at college. “There’s nothing better than getting to see everyone at Thanksgiving. It really gives you that refresh to finish the semester strong,” Florida International University sophomore Carlos Crespo said. With a belly full of food and a heart full of glee, you’ll jump start your brain and get back into school mode. I mean, there’s only two more weeks until you’re back home again, so what’s the worst that could happen besides not waking up for your finals?

Black Friday Shopping

Expectation: You leave the mall with a new wardrobe after spending only $100.

Reality: The shelves look empty, the people run rampant and somehow you escape alive.

Welcome to the battlefield. If you choose, your mission is to find the best deal on everything and anything. It’s a consumer-eat-consumer world in those small shopping aisles. That new gaming system you wanted for $50 off? That deal sold out 10 minutes after the store opened. Those really cool headphones? Yeah, they’re sold at a completely different store. “Last year this lady almost called the cops on me because I got the last 3DS before her. True story I swear,” Miami-Dade College sophomore Eddie Camara said. You’ll kick yourself when you realize the TV you fought hoards of other consumers for is on sale for an even cheaper price on Cyber Monday. Ponder if it was worth it in the end, and tell yourself you’ll never do Black Friday again. Don’t fool yourself; you’ll be back in a year’s time.

Brandon is a Junior at Florida State University studying Editing, Writing and Media. He can be found raving about his fantasy football team that came in second place last season or eating something chicken related.

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