Drunk iPhone Nightmares

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We have all had those nights when Bacardi gets the best of us and our clouded judgment convinces us to open our clutches, whip out our iPhones and broadcast our feelings to the world. Here are some personal experiences that make think twice when considering that extra cranberry and vodka:

“Last semester my ex and some of his roommates in my sorority’s brother fraternity were hosting an end of the year holiday party in his apartment. A few of my friends and I decided to stop by for a while before we headed out. Unfortunately, I had a little too much jungle juice and didn’t remember much of the night. I vaguely remembered storming out of my ex’s place to see the guy that I was dating at the time. I heard rumors the next day that my ex and I had hooked up and I confronted him about it via text. He wouldn’t talk to me for two days and finally told me what happened that night. Apparently while he was, well, lets say doing me a service, I was on the phone with the guy I was seeing and told him in jumbled up texts that I wanted to see him. Needless to say, my ex and I haven’t spoken since.” -Kellie, University of Southern California. 

“On what seemed like a typical Friday night out with some friends, I ended up texting the guy I was hooking up with at the time convincing him to come meet me at a party. In several (what I thought were persuasive) but in reality, incoherent text messages I told him to 'come get me if he wanted me because I was going to die from the hunger games.' When he respond to my text, 'I’ll come meet you and walk you back to make sure you feel safe,' I proceeded to text him 16 times to explain to him in jibberish my quest to find him and how he doesn’t love me. My guy still ended up coming to get me and told me the all about it the next day; I was so embarrassed.”  -Elisa, George Washington University. 

“One night my sophomore year, when I had I just bought an smart phone the week before, I decided to take advantage of the phone by sending, well, naughty pictures to my boyfriend. However, my boyfriend has the almost the same name in my phone as my brother, the only difference being that my brother’s name is saved “Dave” and my boyfriend's name is under “David.” Unfortunately, I was very drunk and sent my explicit images of well, I’ll save the juicy details for your imagination, to my brother instead of my boyfriend. Needless to say, my brother texted me the next day, mortified, saying that he had to turn off his phone during his date because he was afraid his crush would think he was a porn addict.” -Johanna, University of Southern California.

“Freshman year, my three best friends and I decided to go to Dayglow. Basically, we all got very drunk and ended up getting separated as soon as we got there. I was the only one with a phone because we all thought that the paint would ruin our phones, and I decided that I would take one for the team and bring mine. However, I couldn’t get into the concert because my ticket ended up being fake. So while I was incoherently sending updates to my best friends back at my dorm about my mishap, a guy came up to me and offered to drive me into the venue in a golf cart and get me into the venue for free. So, thinking my plan was such a feat, I texted my friends telling them that “I am in a cart with a strange man in the middle of a field.” This caused quite some concern from my friends, who though I was on the verge on getting raped. I unfortunately was not let into the venue, and I realized that the best option would be to walk an hour and a half back to campus rather than taking the half hour metro ride back that I had taken to get there. With my friends anxiously texting me, I told them that I was on my way back to campus, 'by foot because my metro ticket cannot work from a field.' So, I trecked an hour and a half back to campus with two men I had just befriended in a very unsafe neighborhood in Anacostia, D.C., After reassuring my friends through text that my two new friends Richard and “Shoe Strings” were 'the nicest ghetto men I know, they aren’t going to rape me after I screamed at them,' I somehow made it back to campus alive and untouched.” -Kathleen, George Washington University

Long story short, when you are having a particularly drunk moment, do yourself the favor and turn off your phone; It will most likely save you embarrassment in the morning.

George Washington University

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