Eskimo Bros

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Back when we were all kids, sharing was the tits. We loved sleeping in homemade forts in our living rooms together, having matching outfits and taking turns with our Skip-Its or Super Soakers or whatever other baller toys we had in the 1990's.

In college, we no longer harbor the “mi casa e su casa,” mentality. Sharing people, especially at smaller schools with frequently overlapping social circles, can really be an issue-that is, depending on who you ask. 

By some groups, this “overlap” is looked upon favorably. Let us examine the animal of the taxonomic kingdom Man, phylum College Guy, of the order Slob, of the family Eskimo. Manwhoreus Eskimous, known colloquially as “Eskimo Bro's” or “Tunnel Brothers.” There are a lot of names for this brotherhood that materializes when two guys hook up with the same girl, but the feeling of fellowship is the same. The discovery inspires high-fives, rounds of shots and story swaps among guys.

Tom Racitano,* a junior at Duquesne University, said that he personally shares the bond of the Eskimo with four different guys. “We laugh about it all the time, we think it's really funny,” he said. “If one of us had been serious with her and the other banged her, it would not have been cool. But if it's just a 'whatever' thing, which it was, then nobody really cares.”

Not nobody, though. Not girls. The title of “Eskimo sister,” is rarely used – we usually just stick to the concise, simple term of “that b**ch.” The terrible reality is, two women having the same thing instantly makes them competitors. We see it in magazines all the time, putting girl against girl in “Who Wore It Better” sections: two celebs pictured in the same outfit, judging who looked hotter. If a girl is willing to claw another girl’s eyes out over showing up to a party in the same dress, things could get ugly fast when a man is involved.

Mariel Didato, a junior at Rutgers University, said she wouldn't describe her one experience as an Eskimo sister as “funny,” the way Racitano did.

“I hated it because I felt like the guy would be comparing us to each other, especially because we were always together,” Didato said. “ I'd look at her and see what kind of clothes she wore, how she danced at parties. I'd stalk her Facebook to see if he hit her up more than he hit me up. It just made me one of those psycho [girls] I never thought I would be.”

But why is it that women don't fist bump when they find out they shagged the same person, like men do? Once again, the female population gets whacked over the head with a two-by-four of a double standard. Maybe boys were pulled aside in kindergarten for a special seminar on sharing or something. Or maybe, women take themselves and their sexual conquests more seriously than men.   

“I feel like sex is a lot more emotional for girls than it is for guys. They have more of an attachment, and it leads to them getting jealous,” Racitano said. “Like, it takes a long time for guys to become really attached. Definitely more than just one or two nights.”

Looking at it from a scientific perspective, this is an inarguable truth. There is a “bonding” hormone that gets released into the brain during intercourse, called “oxytocin,” which makes people feel closer to their sexual partner. And women have more of it than men.    

Knowing this, girls, we might have to become more in touch with our emotional needs and tendencies before engaging in sex – specifically casual, one night stands. If you're someone who is capable of such no-strings-attached encounters, which a lot of women are, then more power to you. Just be honest with yourself and your partner from the beginning. Don't pretend to agree on “just for fun,” when you don't mean it, and then plot to kill his new hook up partner two weeks later. A past does not grant you a property deed of the guy's penis.        

“If guys can high-five each other [about it], we should be able to do that too!” Didato said. “It's turning all that negative energy into something you can laugh about, and these days when we give enough energy to school as it is, why waste more of it on a stupid guy.”       

Jealousy could make even Adriana Lima look hideous, so save the green for St. Patrick's Day. Maybe for once, we should take the cue of the guys, and embrace our beautiful Eskimo sisters. The idea of bonding over shared sex partners might feel piggish, no doubt – but pigs usually seem pretty happy, right? All squealing and rolling around in mud and whatnot? Kind of like something we would have liked to do as kids. So pretend the guy is your preschool Cabbage Patch Kids doll, let another girl have a turn with it, and do it graciously – like without sticking gum in her hair. Thinking back, that thing was pretty fugly anyway.

Welcome to the federation of the Eskimo, girls.

Junior > Journalism > Pennsylvania State University

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