• Skip to main content
  • Skip to header right navigation
  • Skip to site footer
College Magazine logo

College Magazine

College Life, Dating, Career & Campus Advice

  • Colleges
    • College Guides
    • College Rankings
    • Campus Life
      • Academics
      • Dating
      • Freshman Year
      • Health
      • Social Change
      • Party
    • Find Your College
  • Majors
    • All Majors
    • Most Popular Majors
    • Choosing a Major
  • Intern
    • Internship Directory
    • How to Get an Internship
    • How to Write a Resume
    • How to Write a Cover Letter
    • How to Interview
    • How to Network
    • Career 101
    • Find Your Passion Career
  • Money
    • How to Make Money
    • How to Save Money
    • How to Get a Job
    • Credit Cards 101
    • FAFSA
    • Ramen Project
  • Travel
    • Study Abroad
    • College Spring Break
    • How to Travel Cheap
    • Things to Do
  • Shop
    • College Magazine Shop
    • Gift Guides
    • College Packing List
Home » Latest Posts » Epic Win: Professor Avoids Paying Traffic Fines With A Four-Page Essay
Life

Epic Win: Professor Avoids Paying Traffic Fines With A Four-Page Essay

Facebook Tweet
Josh Axelrod   April 17, 2012
Usually guys don’t have much luck getting out of traffic tickets. If a woman gets pulled over (and if she’s dealing with a straight male cop), she automatically has two assets she can use to her advantage. If they don’t impress him, there’s always crying or flirting. Guys can try all that jazz, but chances are they’ll just earn themselves a more expensive fine.
 
One guy, however, used something to combat a traffic ticket that those most men neglect in these situations: his brain. Dmitri Krioukov, a physicist at the University of California in San Diego, gave a judge a four-page paper (entitled “The Proof of Innocence”) that mathematically proved why he couldn’t have run a stop sign. What a nerdy badass.
 
Krioukov argued that it is possible the officer only perceived the car not stopping at a stop sign, when in fact it really did. Apparently there are three reasons this might have happened:
 

trending

444

10 Student Organizations Breaking the Mold at Berkeley

181

Top 10 Spots Around Emerson College to Get Inspired

159

Top 10 Ways to Spot a UT Austin Alum


“(1) the observer measures not the linear but the angular speed of the car; (2) the car decelerates and subsequently accelerates relatively fast; and (3) there is a short-time obstruction of the observer’s view of the car by an external object, e.g., another car, at the moment when both cars are nearing the stop sign.”
 
The paper included equations and graphs to back up Krioukov’s claims. It certainly served its purpose, as Krioukov no longer has to pay the $400 traffic fine. I get the feeling the judge was either so impressed by his efforts that he let Krioukov off the hook, or he just didn’t feel like reading an essay and assumed the physicist knew what he was talking about.
 
Let this be a lesson to men everywhere: if you get slapped with a hefty traffic ticket, whip out the math and you might be able drive off scot-free. The worst-case scenario is the cop, confused and disoriented, pepper sprays and arrests you. On second thought, maybe that’s not a risk worth taking.
 
Photo: at http://www.jokeroo.com/pictures/sign-ad/bad-ass-meme.html

About Josh Axelrod

Junior > Journalism > University of Maryland

What I Wish I Had Known About Mental Health So I Wouldn’t Have to Call Myself a College Dropout

Ant-Man Opens the Doors for Marvel’s New Phase

10 Boba Tea Spots for Houston College Students

10 Ways to Have Fun with Your Friends Indoors

Do You Actually Care, Or Do You Want to Look Like You Do?

unsplash.com

Top Ten Inspirational Quotes from Your Favorite Sports TV Shows

I lived with my three best friends. Here’s how it went.

21 Things to Do in Williamsburg When You’re Under 21

The Beauty and Pain of Living Alone

Previous Post:Sitcoms Aren’t Dead, These Ones Are Alive and Kicking
Next Post:How To Spot A Bro On Campus

colleges

  • College Guides
  • College Rankings
  • Campus life
  • Academics
  • Dating
  • Freshmen Year
  • Health
  • Party

majors

  • All College Majors
  • Most Popular Majors
  • Choosing a Major

intern

  • Internships Directory
  • How to Write a Resume
  • How to Write a Cover Letter
  • How to Interview
  • How to Get an Internship
  • How to Network

money

  • How to Make Money
  • How to Save Money
  • How to Get a Job
  • Credit Cards 101
  • College Loans

travel

  • Study Abroad
  • College Spring Break
  • How to Travel Cheap
  • Things to Do

shop

  • College Packing List
  • Gift Guides
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS Feed
  • Twitter
  • About Us
  • Team
  • Write
  • Apply
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sign Up
  • Advertise
  • My Account
  • Cart

College Magazine logo

Copyright © 2023 Powered by BizBudding