Cleaning Up Your Dirty Talk

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Dirty mouth? You’re off to the right start. Your parents may have threatened to wash your mouth out with soap when you were younger, but one person who won’t be complaining about your vulgar words: your significant other. It’s important to know when it’s appropriate to use foul language and when you’re better off without it. In a study released in 2011 by adult-product company Adam & Eve, 80 percent of people admitted to talking dirty in the bedroom. So not everyone likes dirty talk, but for the ones who do, we salute you with this guide to turning your partner on with the right words.

Start off with a text

It’s always easier to write things down than it is to say them face-to-face. This will also assess how responsive your partner is to dirty talk. Send them a text telling them how badly you want them or describe what you’d like to do to them. There’s nothing like getting a sexy text, a steamy voicemail or finding a sensual note in your pocket in the middle of class like "I've been thinking about how amazing last night was all day. Can't wait to do it again." 

“I enjoy it because it adds spice to my relationship,” says Tiana, a senior at Morgan University. “I don’t have a problem with sending dirty texts. Me and my boyfriend will send things like ‘wait till you get home…’ and stuff like that…it makes you anticipate and enjoy it more.”

Try it in public

The next time you’re on the subway, whisper some mischievous words in his or her ear. Or when you go out to dinner, drop subtle hints that only he or she can see. Make some dirty gestures when no one’s looking, whisper some inappropriate words or get a little physical under the table, like "I'm not wearing any panties."

Study up on your vocab

If you don’t feel like your dirty talk is up to par, don’t be afraid to steal ideas. Go on the Internet, do some research, pick up a magazine or book, or even watch some porn. Some things may seem cheesy, but most dirty talk is. The beauty of that is no one’s thinking about that in the heat of the moment.

Initiate it in bed

Some people are not used to talking dirty, but that doesn’t mean they don’t like it. It does, however, probably mean that they won’t start it. So if you want to mix things up, you may have to be the one to get it going. If you don’t want to go with the cliché “talk dirty to me,” start with something moderately naughty and see how they react to it such as, "I love it when you touch me _____" or "It feels really good when you kiss me _____." If they seem to like it, amp it up in intervals and eventually, they’ll most likely start joining in. 

“I personally prefer a female who isn’t shy about her sexuality,” says David, a sophomore at Temple University. “I can’t tolerate a silent female in the bed. At least make some type of noise to let me know how it feels or what position you want next. I also like to hear my name, ‘daddy,’ ‘don’t stop,’ all the classics.”

Dirty talk shouldn’t be rocket science. It may come natural or you may have to study up on it, but it should enhance the pleasure of the moment, not make it awkward. Don’t overthink it and don’t feel obligated to do it. If your partner really wants to but you don’t, compromise. Set boundaries, but don’t be afraid to engage in a little debauchery.

Senior > Magazine Journalism > Temple University

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