18 Hilarious Quotes Overheard at Temple University

Like many of the unofficial Temple-related Twitter accounts, @TUoverheard serves to both entertain and enlighten students. Nothing quite screams “Temple” like the dumbfounding statements you hear while walking on and around campus. Between the North Philly struggles, squirrels and harsh dating realities, I can promise you that people have a lot to say. I just can’t promise you that it will make any sense.

1. The Dog Lover

“The first time I gave head was while watching Marley and Me”

— Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) February 24, 2014

I can only hope they bought the DVD.

 2. The Law Abiding Citizen

“I almost swiped at the tech with my fake ID”

— Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) February 17, 2014

I mean, it’s an honest mistake.

 3. The Positive Thinker

“When I snap my ankle on the ice, my cast will be temple made” — Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) February 11, 2014

Someone put this guy on a commercial.

 4. The Truth Speaker

“It’s the temple O. When people ask you where you go to school… you say temple, and they say Oh” — Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) February 7, 2014

Usually followed by a “Isn’t it dangerous there?”

 5. The Real MVP

“I got jungle juice on my bra” — Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) November 24, 2013

Even the craziest party girl has her struggles.

 6. The Next Einstein

“It took me three weeks to figure out that my math professor meant square root, not square as in box.” — Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) September 16, 2013

Because we can’t all make Dean’s List.

 7. The Age Old Question

“Are temple cops real cops?”

— Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) September 6, 2013

Is this drinking citation a real drinking citation?

 8. The Freshmen

“WHY ARE THE COPS FOLLOWING ME?!?” maybe because you’re 50 deep. pic.twitter.com/7HNqwUt8fs — Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) August 25, 2013

Please go back to J&H where you belong.

9. The Future Geographer

“Philadelphia is part of New England right?” — Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) May 3, 2013

I spy a student from the West Coast.

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 10. The Future Valedictorian

“Alcohol helps you on tests” — Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) April 19, 2013

I knew that water bottle I got during orientation would come in handy one day.

 11. The VIP Club Goer

“I have a club tech hangover”

— Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) April 25, 2013

Club Tech > Club Lib

 12. The Streaker

“This weather makes me wanna get naked and run up and down liacouras”

— Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) April 9, 2013

Suddenly my plans to do homework on Beaury seem inadequate.

 13. The God Incarnate

“This one time I made out with a girl who had an asthma attack, I thought I was god.”

— Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) April 11, 2013

As long as her medical emergency served as an ego boost…

 14. The Academic

“I wish I could major in sex”

— Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) March 27, 2013

You can’t, but I think you can minor in it.

 15. The Global Thinker

“We have enough liquor to kill a small African village”

— Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) April 7, 2013

Glad to know that “global consciousness” is alive and well.

 16. The Classical Music Aficionado

“I lost my virginity to Mozart”

— Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) April 1, 2013

I’m going to assume this person meant, “I lost my virginity while listening to Mozart” for my own sanity.

 17. The Romantic

“Remember dude, beauty is in the eye of the beer holder”

— Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) March 5, 2013

Drink till he’s cute.

18. The Realist

“Back at temple to have my dreams broken”

— Overheard at Temple (@TUoverheard) March 18, 2013

#TempleMade my dreams die?