10 UF Restrooms Worthy of Royalty

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We’ve all been there. Running around campus going to class, meeting friends and getting food when suddenly…you need to go. Say goodbye to the great outdoors and hello to your friendly neighborhood bathroom stall. Everyone knows to avoid the stench of Little Hall restrooms and nobody dares enter the stalls in the dining halls. Most of us will opt for a mediocre bathroom experience, but why settle? Don’t you want to sit on a golden throne and feel like royalty during the dirtiest part of your day (literally)? Next time your body begs you to find a toilet, check out one of University of Florida’s best restrooms.

1. Upstairs Second Floor of Hub

Alyssa Eatherly

Alyssa Eatherly

Because of its prime location in the central heart of campus, the Hub can basically be considered the go-to stop for a restroom between classes. But everyone knows that the bathrooms by the pod grow a line as long as the line for Chick-fil-A. Fortunately, you don’t need to give up your quick stop in the Hub just yet. Employees changing out of their uniforms typically frequent the second floor restroom. “It’s a hidden treasure. It’s always clean and very rarely crowded and to be honest, the lighting is really nice for makeup,” junior Petrana Radulovic said. The enormous windows certainly make the restroom appear more spacious and luxurious.

Privacy: 7/10

Accessibility: 10/10

Cleanliness 8/10

2. Gender Neutral Restrooms Ground Floor of Reitz Union

TRUEunisexreitz

Alyssa Eatherly

For once you can relax about pooping. That’s right, I said pooping. While not necessarily the nicest or cleanest spot, you can do no better in terms of total isolation. “Awesome for equality and taking private poops. There really is no other choice,” junior Ryan Wicks said. UF does a great job of providing safe and neutral spaces for all genders and their bathrooms are no exception. Despite occasional occupancy and a somewhat out-of-the-way location, this restroom satisfies those who get performance anxiety when stall neighbors can hear them pee. Sometimes solitude must be prioritized above the hassle.

Privacy: 11/10

Accessibility: 7/10

Cleanliness: 6/10

3. First Floor of Smathers Library East

Alyssa Eatherly

Alyssa Eatherly

Smathers Library East (AKA UF campus’ hidden gem) cannot be criticized. Decked out with beautiful granite water fountains and an exterior like that of a 19th-century castle, Smathers Library offers so many wall outlets you may just cry happy tears. “I love how secluded it is. Super quiet and good mirrors. I used it as my dressing room for Shakespeare in the Park!” graduate student Anna Morgan said. While not perfectly spotless, the flowers mask the smell of the Chipotle you ate across the street. When taking into account the number of Midtown partiers who stumble to a Smathers bathroom, someone has to question how the flowers haven’t died. They could be fake or super survivors but either way they probably make this the best smelling restroom on UF’s campus.

Privacy: 9/10

Accessibility: 8/10

Cleanliness: 7/10

4.Unisex Restroom Second Floor of Florida Gym

Alyssa Eatherly

Alyssa Eatherly

Conveniently located right next door to the Swamp, Florida Gym blasts incredible air conditioning and boasts equally incredible bathrooms. Even better? The rarely-sighted turn handle door lock. You know that feeling of terror when you push a button lock on a bathroom and you aren’t sure if it works or not? Or maybe you’ve encountered that sliding lock that could all too easily slip open with a little force? These contraptions regularly cause you to spend your entire restroom experience terrified that someone will walk in on you. Well these silver locks crafted by the metalworking gods will not fail you and the security of your private stall will provide an entirely stress-free event.

Privacy: 10/10

Accessibility: 7/10

Cleanliness: 8/10

5. Basement of Marston Science Library

Alyssa Eatherly

Alyssa Eatherly

You probably thought a Marston restroom wouldn’t make it on this list considering the state of the one on the second floor with its broken doors and overflowing trashcans. What this basement restroom lacks in beauty it makes up for in convenience. Sophomore Ziqi Wang has a habit of seeking well-pampered restrooms and had nothing but praise for this very public spot. Her favorite feature? “Its cleanliness and proximity to prime studying nooks. Automatic features are a definite plus, particularly for my inner germophobe,” Wang said. Nothing makes you cringe quite like a broken sink handle so we can all agree that automatic features make any restroom prime peeing property.

Privacy: 8/10

Accessibility: 8/10

Cleanliness: 9/10

6. New Reitz Union Restrooms

Alyssa Eatherly

Alyssa Eatherly

Recently renovated Reitz restrooms restore your faith in never-ending construction. Students mourn their short lifespan because everyone knows in their heart they won’t stay this nice forever. But perhaps we must take advantage of their perfection now, before wear and tear turns them into toilet portals to hell. UF custodial staff does a great job keeping them clean, stocked and classy. Every soap dispenser has an adorable bowl beneath it (you can’t tell me that’s not the definition of class). “After I wash my hands I don’t have to open the door with my hands—I can kick the handicap accessible door opener and it will open the door for me. It makes my day,” sophomore Charlie Qualmann said. Say hello to keeping your freshly washed hands, well, freshly washed.

Privacy: 9/10

Accessibility: 9/10

Cleanliness: 8/10

7. Constans Theatre Lobby

Alyssa Eatherly

Alyssa Eatherly

If you don’t feel comfortable using the restroom with the flood of people in the Reitz, you can always head over to the adjoining building. Relatively empty for most parts of the day, the Constans Theatre restrooms get far less foot traffic than those at the Reitz. You’ll hardly ever have company and the totally silent environment of the Constans relaxes even the most self-conscious pooper. Not to mention that the custodial staff keeps the restroom extra clean since it’s a public theatre. The lighting can’t beat natural sunlight but it wins points for brightness and charm. Plus who could ever resist Gator themed soap dispensers?

Privacy: 9/10

Accessibility: 8/10

Cleanliness: 9/10

8. Classroom Building First Floor

Alyssa Eatherly

Alyssa Eatherly

We admit this restroom can be inconvenient because CBD sits across University Avenue. But if you’re ever in Midtown around Cantina or Sushi Chao and you do NOT want to trust the restaurant’s restroom, CBD may be worth the walk. The ample counter space means you can actually put your items down while washing your hands. No more sticking your purse between your knees and awkwardly waddling to get your paper towels. The CBD bathrooms prove consistently clean and quiet. Not many public restrooms can boast such a feat.

Privacy: 8/10

Accessibility: 8/10

Cleanliness: 8/10

9. Second Floor of Rinker

Alyssa Eatherly

Alyssa Eatherly

When your nose can’t take another trip to the Broward Fresh Food Company facilities, stop into a Rinker restroom. This new building guarantees a more elegant restroom experience with endless amenities. Air-conditioned? Check. Strong Wi-Fi? Check. Thirsty? You can grab a drink of ice-cold water from the water fountain located right outside of the restroom. Need a friend to wait for you? They’ve got benches. And if you’re worried about those stairs, the elevator takes you straight to the girls’ restroom. The boys have to walk down the hall but the vending machine outside their restroom makes the stroll totally worth it.

Privacy: 7/10

Accessibility: 7/10

Cleanliness: 10/10

10. Hume Commons Restrooms

Alyssa Eatherly

Alyssa Eatherly

Sick of parking in Garage 5 and realizing you won’t make the ride home without stopping for a bathroom? Fear no more because Hume has your back. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need a resident key to use the bathrooms by the Hume Commons (unless it’s nighttime, then you’re shit out of luck—no pun intended). “The family restroom there is the cleanest I’ve found. Most people think it’s just another supply closet! You never have to wait in line to use it,” sophomore Megan Backus said. Other than having the cleanest restrooms on campus, Hume Commons also has everything you can ever need: three vending machines, a water fountain an ice maker and a newspaper rack if you want to pick up a copy of The Alligator to read during a long sit-down.

Privacy: 10/10

Accessibility: 9/10

Cleanliness: 10/10

Songwriter, surfer, and seriously obsessed with candles, Alyssa is a sophomore at the University of Florida studying English and Spanish. She hopes to one day reside in a White Barn store.

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