Ever hear a song and swear it’s written for you and your current heartache? Yeah, me too. Thankfully, we’ve got people there doing the hard work for us so all we have to do is crank it up and belt it out. Like John Mayer, who has been cry-singing through our radio speakers since 1999. With more than six albums, he’s got a LOT to say about love:
1. Friends, Lovers, or Nothing [Battle Studies, 2009]
“Friends, lovers, or nothing. You see, there can only be one. Friends, lovers, or nothing. We’ll never be an inbetween.”
This is the aftermath of another one of John’s undefined relationships, and all the moaning and crying in his tunes should be enough proof to keep us away from the whole “friends with benefits” thing. The man knows what’s up, people. It’s only fun and games for one of the pseudo-lovers, while the other is always left crying over a bucket of Ben and Jerry’s.
2. Daughters [Heavier Things, 2003]
“Fathers, be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers who turn into mothers, so mothers, be good to your daughters too.”
Man, the title of this album is appropriate, as he certainly took a step up from wailing about discovering some chick’s “wonderland.” As much as my fingers are resisting my typing this, Daughters partially makes up for some of his douchey remarks about women and dating (yes, I may have just searched “bad things John Mayer has done,” but Google immediately reciprocated with “The Nine Douchiest Things John Mayer Has Ever Said.”)
3. My Stupid Mouth [Inside Wants Out, 1999]
“I'm never speaking up again. It only hurts me. I'd rather be a mystery than she desert me.
It’s ironic that he wrote this song in 1999, long before his super stardom and the subsequent firing of ignorant public remarks. But still, sometimes it’s better to say nothing at all than to open your mouth and say something stupid. (Why didn’t you take your own advice, buddy?)
4. Say [written for The Bucket List, 2007]
“Say what you need to say.”
In conjunction with line items three and four, it’s apparent that he has no problem saying what he needs to say. Bottling up emotion is a surefire way to create an explosion, and Mr. Mayer feels so strongly about saying what he needs to say that he repeats the line FORTY times in this song. No joke, forty.
5. Love is a Verb [Born and Raised, 2012]
“Love ain't a crutch. It ain't an excuse. No you can't get through love on just a pile of IOUS.”
And finally, I think he’s starting to get it. Love is something you do, not just something you say. But am I the only one who had a really hard time getting past this song title as a sexual innuendo?
6. Comfortable [Inside Wants Out, 1999]
“She thinks I can't see the smile that she's fakin', and poses for pictures that aren't being taken. I loved you, grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect.”
Props to this relationship. Down-to-earth girls, keep your head up. All the boys may be out chasing chicks in skin-tight sequin skirts while we’re on the couch watching Homeward Bound, but eventually they’ll get tired of waking up to a clown and come crying back to us.
7. Dreaming with a Broken Heart [Continuum, 2006]
“When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part.”
What else is there to say? I’m pretty sure we’ve all woken up with that sinking feeling in our gut, and these lyrics couldn’t sum that up better.
8.Who Says [Battle Studies, 2009]
“Who says I can’t get stoned? Call up a girl that I used to know, fake love for an hour or so.
Who says I can’t get stoned?”
This is a single man/woman’s theme song. When you’re sick of a significant other telling you what time to eat, what to eat AND where to eat, there’s only one thing left to do: SERIOUSLY unleash. There’s a reason why people make poor life decisions immediately following a break up. Just try to refrain from a tattoo, those are permanent.
9. Good Love is on the Way [Try!, 2005]
“Good love is on the way. I been lonely but I know, I'll be ok. Good love is on the way.”
Even with a collection of albums sad enough to make you drop a toaster in your bathtub, he keeps his optimism, and you should too. You’ve got to pick up a few really rotten apples at the ol’ Trader Joe’s before you find that really nice shiny one.
10. Heart of Life [Continuum, 2006]
“Pain throws you heart to the ground. Love turns the whole thing around. No, it won't all go the way, it should. But I know the heart of life is good.”
And I feel that another dose of that unrelenting optimism is needed, especially after reading this article.
All The Things I Wish She Wouldn’t Do
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