Things You Can Do That A Victoria’s Secret Angel Can’t

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This year’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is behind us, the post-show depression has set in and many people are turning to their good friends Ben and Jerry for support. Don’t be ashamed, relish that tub of Cherry Garcia because Miranda Kerr could not tell you the last time she stuck an enormous spoon into a tub of ice cream.

Sure, it would be great to be 6 feet tall and 90 lbs. Wouldn’t it be great if your job involved walking up and down a stage in your underwear? Being able to date from a pool of men that has the likes of Orlando Bloom and Adam Levine?

While that may be true, let’s not forget the very serious drawbacks of being in the industry of perfect genetics.

Let’s start with the obvious: food. Before the fashion show, the VS Angels were tweeting and instagraming about their workout and diet and regimens.

Forget humans, it's safe to say that birds eat more wholesome meals. If this makes you want to speed to your closest fast food drive-thru, you are not alone.

It’s not just the diet. Months before the show, these models spend most of their time hitting the gym and working out for an unseemly amount of hours. We all know what you look like after 30 minutes on the treadmill.


The biggest shocker of all is that with such an air-tight diet, alcohol (or any liquids for that matter) is completely off the table. With vodka averaging 123 calories a shot and beer averaging 150 calories a bottle, being an angel leaves little room for flip cup.

One last thing, everyone loves cheeky bottoms and a push-up bra but how sexy is a giant feather headdress and pom poms. At least your work wardrobe doesn’t come with 15 extra attachments.

Sometimes it’s just better to be the fat angel. Your stomach – and sanity will thank you for it.


Image: Toasted


Senior > Journalism > University of Maryland

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