Most people are already apprehensive when going to doctor’s appointments, but can you imagine falling, wearing nothing from the waste down but some tissue paper, into your gynecologists’ arms? College Magazine readers share their most embarrassing, hilarious, or just plain disastrous experiences at doctor’s offices.
“While my gynecologist is really terrific, none of us ever enjoy this. So after sitting almost an hour in the stuffy waiting room I got moved to the exam room. Lucky me, I got to put on those ever-so-fashionable tissue paper outfits and more tissue paper to drape over my bottom half. Oh, and I got to sit on even more tissue paper–it was a tissue paper party! So I’m sitting in there waiting for my doctor and start completely sweating. Then in comes my doctor and, of course, I have to tell her I’m sweating because all the tissue paper is sticking to my backside. I know I’ll have to slide down on the exam table in those fun stirrups and I going to end up taking all the shredded tissue paper along with me. At least the nurse said, “Wow, it is nice and warm in here,” so I knew it wasn’t just me! But the worst part was when she was about to do my exam, and she said, “Here, let me just help wipe off some of that sweat,” and proceeded to wipe down my legs. I just wanted to die then and there!” – Melissa Anders, Arizona State University senior.
“It was my senior year in high school and I had messed my ankle up at a powder puff practice. I had been out of school for a week and my mom finally took me to the doctor’s office. They were asking standard question like: ‘Are you allergic to anything?’ I said no. ‘Do you take drugs?’ I said no. ‘Are you pregnant?’ I said no. Then they asked: ‘Are you a virgin?’ I slowly turned my head and looked at my mom. She gave me a face like: you better be. The room was quiet.” -Jessica Brooks, Georgia State University senior.
“I just went for my sports physical and I guess you’re supposed to cough as part of the procedure when the doctor checks your heartbeat. I had a big lunch that day and I didn’t have time to use the bathroom since I was already late. So I coughed and a fart slipped out by accident and it was LOUD. The doctor was laughing so hard it took him almost 15 minutes to get my heart rate. It happens.” -Jimmy Page, Stockton College junior.
“I was at the gynecologist, and I was getting my first check-up. When he was giving me the check-up he told me, ‘I need you to scoot your body forward.’ So I did, but I fell off the table and the doctor caught me. It was so embarrassing!” -Shelby Mills, Seminole State College sophomore.
“I’m normally not one to fear a visit to the doctor’s office, most likely due to me pursuing a career as one myself. However, this visit was rattling my nerves. I was already apprehensive due to the research I had done on the probability of testicular cancer occurring in males between the ages of 16-25. So when I needed to get them checked because of slight discomfort and irregular pain, there was really nothing I could do to boost my confidence. This is half of the reason why this particular visit to my pediatrician was different. The second-half entails the new Puerto Rican, dime-piece nurse, who would be administering the ultrasound… I could hardly contain my excitement when this Hispanic queen with the beauty of Shakira and the medical prowess of Minerva began to analyze me with the necessary warm gel, supported by the also necessary, yet equally appreciated, gentle grip. The ensuing moments contained much embarrassment on my part, but that day I went home comforted by the fact that not only did I not have testicular cancer, but that for 5 minutes, I got to experience something that moved my heart, my soul…and my penis.”-Gael Renaut*, University of South Florida junior.
*Some names have been changed.
This story is part of our week-long series about sexual health and awareness. Check back tomorrow for the next addition!