Nothing excites me more than the idea of new beginnings. I get to start my whole life over again. A new apartment with new roommates, a new class schedule and a new mindset. I aim to make new friends and step outside of my comfort zone. I always play it safe and I’m sick of taking the easy way out. Once I learn how to break out of my shell, I eventually allow myself to take some risks.
The easy option would be to stay at home all the time, go to bed early every night when I’m tired from the day and hiding myself away in my bedroom when I get pissed off.
I focused on my grades a lot last semester. It all paid off, but I wonder if I really need to work as hard as I did to achieve what I want. If the opportunity cost of working all day leads me to not enjoy myself, would that be worth it? I accomplished a lot and I am proud of it. Obviously, school remains a priority. I came to college to learn and to do well. I know not to slack in this area, but I aim to find a better balance.
The biggest challenge seems to be learning to accept myself.
I need to learn that popularity does not matter in college. As long as I am happy with who I am and the friends that I made, I don’t need to consider the social hierarchy. At the end of the day, being true to myself outweighs faking it to impress someone that doesn’t matter. I only three more years left here. Make it count! Everyday, I must put my life into perspective. I traveled one thousand miles to go to the University of Florida. Take advantage of every single opportunity that gets thrown your way. Getting wrapped up in social media and what the world thinks of people like me only lowers my self-esteem. I need to live freely and without concern for other people’s opinions about me.
My focus centers around inner peace this semester.
I am happy with myself and I must remain content internally. Once I reach that point, I won’t get bothered over insignificant things. I begin encompassing this feeling at the root. I started with my bedroom. My own room allows me to decorate the way that I want to and start from scratch. My bedroom at home remains decorated the way I made it when I was ten. My dorm room freshman year was cute and fluffy, combining both my taste and my roommates. This year, I am free to design it the way I want to. My colorful tapestry that hangs above my bed brightly sets the tone of this living space. I keep my essential oil diffuser running so I relax through the scent of lavender. My desk stays organized so I don’t overwhelm myself.
I remember how last year went for me.
I started off at the top in the beginning of the fall. Everything fell into place easily and adjusting to a new life came simply. As time went on, my freshman year high faded. By the spring, I got caught up in work and drama that I missed out on a few months of living. I don’t want to find myself in a low place again. Keep your head up. All of the tools lay out right in front of you. Only you get to decide how to use them.
I luckily made myself the dream schedule.
All classes relating towards your major, minor and interests. No more impossible science or math classes that I dread sitting through. I want to absorb everything I learn this semester and keep myself on track. I don’t want to fall behind and end up out of place, filled with anxiety relating to my outstanding work.
Remember what you want to do.
Writing everyday only makes you better and your craft while also giving you and outlet to express your thoughts, feelings and frustrations. The end isn’t even close to this time in your life. I want you to live so fully and freely that when college ends, you feel like you did the absolute most that you could have.