Looking for the Real Deal? Here’s Who Not to Steal

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Each and every one of us has a different idea of Mr. Right. I personally have had trouble defining exactly what mine is; this is probably because men are always finding ways to surprise me. My heart’s been broken and it’s also been saved. And although the vast majority of women would argue that a bad boy will break your heart, he might actually turn out to be your guy. That said, Mr. Wrong comes in many different forms as well–and he’s often undetectable at first.

Based on experience, I’ve assembled a list of qualifications for ladies looking for their sweetheart. After all, arent we all just looking for love?

The blatant truth is that your magic man is probably not lurking in the dark corners of a musty bar or crowded dorm party. He most certainly isnt making you go shot-for-shot and definitely isnt the guy sidling up when you cant see straight. Avoid men that feed off of your intoxication and instead focus on men that can wait to see you sober. If a man truly wants to get to know you, he’ll want to know the real you.

I know what youre thinking: Ive met guys at parties! And so have I–there are some good ones, I promise… just dont snag Mr. Sloppy and Aggressive.

Following this, dont be a booty call. If he only lights up your phone at 1 a.m. saying he wants you, then hes a definite no-no. If a guy wants to get to know you and not your body then he’ll reach you at times when you are most surely awake. Following through with late-night plans can sometimes lead to heartbreak–be sure hes willing to see you in the morning. If a guy is only in it for the late-night fun then hes not really in it for you.

This next note is key, guys: If he ignores you around his friends and only acknowledges you when hes alone, ditch him. If the dude wants you, he will be proud to be both your friend and your guy. Confidence is hot, cockiness is not.

The scene: You open the door to his room, where a party is hoppin’, and he turns and simply nods. When you try to talk to him, he seems uninterested. He then proceeds to ignore you throughout the night, drinking with his buddies and acknowledging other gals. Definitely annoying, right?

This next piece of advice might seem obvious, but if he mixes up your name, is constantly on his phone or is always seen with other girlsthis guys a player. My suggestion? Steer clear. Yes, having options in the early stages is always okay. But if he continues flirting long beyond it being “cute,” then you know hes not sincere.

Or, maybe, you’re both just looking for some fun. In that case, don’t take the situation too seriously! But if you can’t match what you want with what he is clearly willing to give, move along woman.

You want a man, not a boy. A man will respect all of your morals, decisions and opinions. A man will not pressure you to do anything you do not want to do–even something as simple as going out when you need to study. Remember that. Don’t fall into any traps. Find someone that loves every little imperfection and accepts you exactly as you are. I know thats corny but its the damn truth.

Sometimes a guy can surprise you. If you can see he’s genuine then I would give it a shot. If he hurts you, reevaluate. Sometimes there’s room for second chances and sometimes… theres just not.

Emily is currently a Sophomore at the University of Notre Dame and is studying in the Business School. She hopes to one day write for a major magazine in Boston.

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