Congratulations! We made it all the way to 2020.
This decade brought about changes in social justice and technology, as well as in the mindsets of college students. We spent the majority of our time stressing about money, schoolwork and getting jobs, while still allowing petty drama with our friends to get to us instead of focusing on living in the moment and being grateful for the opportunities we have been given.
Just the fact that we attend a university already demonstrates our hard work and our drive. We all want to be the best at everything. We all strive for success.
But do we need to compete with our closest friends to get there?
For 2020, I need to try to find my inner peace. I’m sick of wasting time thinking about “who has the most followers on Instagram?” or “who has the highest GPA?” How do we learn to cut off the competition with our friends and start supporting each other? I found myself in multiple situations this year where I achieved a huge accomplishment and the people closest to me were silent. I didn’t even get a simple “congrats” message. On the other hand, I am sure that I’m guilty of the same crime.
We get jealous of each other when we aren’t even fighting for the same prize.
I want to get into the mindset of being grateful for what I’ve been given and plain simply being a kind person. I know I’m a pushover and I allow myself to get easily taken advantage of by my close friends. I think that putting everyone else’s needs ahead of mine makes me a good person because I’m happiest when everyone else is happy.
I can’t think that way forever because I know that everyone doesn’t have the same brain as I do. There are some people who you can walk 500 miles for and that still isn’t enough for them. You can’t control that. I’m not responsible for the happiness of others–that’s not my job. I find myself looking for credit or a reward for doing good things for people. When I don’t get that, I resent them and become bitter.
I need to search for the middle ground.
I want to be selfless but I can’t be selfless to the extent of sitting around and waiting for someone to need me–that shouldn’t be the way I validate myself. Yes, I can make the lives of people around me easier. Not by always doing things for them, but simply by not contributing to something that will upset them.
In 2019, I found myself filled with anger over such minor encounters with people. I can’t let that get to me anymore, or else I’ll always be unhappy. All I can do is try my best. Yes, I make mistakes and I’m not perfect, but I can’t let other people’s opinions and insecurities get to me if I don’t want mine to get to them.
At the end of the day, I know which friends are real. The ones who constantly want the best for you, ask you if your okay and allow you to open up at any time deserve reciprocation. Spend the new year treasuring them.
