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You are here: Home / Party / 22 Things You Hate Your Drunk Self for Doing

22 Things You Hate Your Drunk Self for Doing

May 26, 2015 //  by Andrea Fitzgerald

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Once the cheap vodka comes out, the pregame has officially begun.

You immediately adopt the philosophy, “can’t stop, won’t stop.” Goodbye straight-A student, hello Miley Cyrus. Suddenly, your tongue refuses to stay in your mouth and you’re in a nude leotard twerking on a 40-year-old man in front of millions of peo — actually, nah. You wouldn’t take it that far, even while blackout drunk. Aside from dressing up like a sexy teddy bear, check out 22 self-destructive things you can’t stop your drunk self from doing. We don’t judge — unlike many disturbed VMA viewers.

1. Pre-gaming too hard. Always.

giphy.com
giphy.com

2. Convincing your friends that “coats are for the weak.”

imghumour.com
imghumour.com

3. Sending a Snapchat with the caption “I can’t eel my café” that instantly becomes the new cover photo in you and your friends’ GroupMe thread.

buzzfeed.com
buzzfeed.com

4. Making your Snapchat story 30+ seconds long (every 10 second video is the same, dammit).

memegenerator.net
memegenerator.net

5. Reorganizing your phone apps. Where the hell your Uber app went, the world may never know.

buzzfeed.com
buzzfeed.com

6. Peer pressuring friends and strangers alike to “get on your level.”

funkyjunk.com
funkyjunk.com

7. Saying things like, “get on my level.”

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tumblr.com

8. Deciding this is the time to approach “The Girl.”

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tumblr.com

9. Bumping everyone up two points on the Would Do Scale.

charlottecarrendar.com
charlottecarrendar.com

10. Punctuating someone’s story with a nonsensical, “That’s what she said!”

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giphy.com

11. Hitting on your friends and other inappropriate victims (your roommate’s sister will never visit again, man).

giphy.com
giphy.com

12. Taking PDA to new levels.

hercampus.com
hercampus.com

13. Initiating dance battles that you, of course, lose.

14. Trying to start chants. “U. S. A., U.S.A!” never catches on, but frat guys everywhere remain hopeful.

15. Cutting everyone in line for your eighth pee break.

batpigandme.com
batpigandme.com

16. Getting too honest with the host about how shitty the party was during your goodbye.

forums.previously.tv
forums.previously.tv

17. Eating all the snacks in your room, including your roommate’s.

giphy.com
giphy.com

18. Ordering a stupid amount of Domino’s.

reddit.com
reddit.com

19. Tipping the delivery guy so freakin’ much you’re basically a drunk Bill Gates.

lolsnaps.com
lolsnaps.com

20. Vomiting on your own carpeted floor.

weirdnutdaily.com
weirdnutdaily.com

21. Passing out with no shits given about hygiene.

imgbuddy.com
imgbuddy.com

22. Doing essentially the same thing next weekend, because you’re a monster who gives no f—cks.

weheartit.com
weheartit.com

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Filed Under: Party

About Andrea Fitzgerald

Andrea is a sophomore English major at Boston College. She enjoys binge snacking, psychoanalyzing her friends and saying medium instead of grande just to piss Starbucks employees off. Friends and cute boys call her Anna.

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