How to Lose a Job in Ten Days

By  |  0 Comments

So we already know how to lose a guy in ten days but what about a job?

 
January 1
 
Dear Diary,
 
It was my first day at my new internship today and I can already tell my boss doesn’t like me. She told me to arrive at 9:00 and I came in at 9:10. I really don’t understand what the big deal is though. I tried to assure her that I wouldn’t have been productive if I showed up on time but didn’t have my Starbuck’s extra grande peppermint mocha
 
Sincerely,
Willingly Late 
 
January 2
 
Dear Diary,
 
Good news, work was a little better today. Some of the other interns and I made friends and started discussing how much we can’t stand our boss. During lunch break we couldn’t stop tweeting about it. I guess it’s true that nothing brings people together like a common enemy. 
 
Sincerely,
Social media bully
 
January 3
 
Dear Diary,

Today was my first Monday back at work after a long weekend. I couldn’t wait to fill in the rest of my coworkers about the insane party I went to Saturday night. I mean it was pretty obvious the four keg stands got to me considering I was so tired all morning, but I couldn’t wait until we were all together so I could update everyone on the details.
 
Sincerely, 
Personal life revealed 
 
January 4
 
Dear Diary,
 
TGIF. This week has been horrible. I don’t think I can handle another assignment. This morning my boss asked me to organize some paperwork and when I was done I could go on lunch break. What kind of person gives someone over fifty folders to organize right before lunch? I managed to get half of them done quickly and had some other intern do the rest. Can’t risk being late for pizza Friday. 
 
Sincerely,
Lackadaisical and lazy 
 
January 5
 
Dear Diary,
 
I’m panicking and don’t know what to do. Next Tuesday night is the Dave Matthews Concert I’ve been waiting all year to go to. My friends and I bought the tickets months ago and my boss just asked me if I could stay late and help her with an assignment then. I guess I’ll just have to call out sick…
 
Sincerely,
Excuse enthusiast
 
January 6
 
Dear Diary,
 
Today my boss asked me to enter a bunch of data in an Excel spreadsheet. Looking at her perplexed I explained that I had never used Excel. She then angrily walked away and said that I had put it as a skill on my resume. Doesn’t everyone lie on their resume?
 
Sincerely, 
Resume phony 
 
 
January 7
 
Dear Diary,
 
This day could not get any worse. Not only did I get a flat tire on the way to work but I also had no time to eat breakfast. It was obvious I was already in a bad mood then my boss had the nerve to ask me to get her coffee! At that point all I could do was roll my eyes and say fine.
 
Sincerely,
Awful attitude 
 
January 8
 
Dear Diary,
 
Today the other interns and I had to budget a bunch of numbers for a new project. It was getting late and I could tell we weren’t making any progress. Rather than figure out the actual numbers we decided to just put in numbers that we thought would be close to the actual ones. I’m sure no one will be able to tell the difference. 
 
Sincerely,
Dishonest coworker
 
January 9
 
Dear Diary,
 
Today my boss had me work with the interns in the other department. I couldn’t stand any of them and it was pretty clear we didn’t work well together. I explained to my boss later that it would probably be better if I worked with different people next time.

Sincerely,
Not a team player
 
January 10

Dear Diary,
 
It’s getting so hard trying to balance my new internship with my night class. The homework has really been piling up on top of work. Thank god I had some time alone at work today to study for my exam next week. After all, I think grades are a little more important than our presentation at work next week. I’m sure the other interns can handle it.

Sincerely,
Unfocused and unprepared 

 
 
Don’t be that person to make the classic first year employee mistakes. Although it may sounds cliché, a good attitude and a strong work ethic can go along way. When it comes to your first job and even your second and third, leave the Starbucks and stories from the weekend at home. 

Junior > Communication/English > Boston College

Enter our Monthly Giveaway

Win $100 for YOU & $100 for your student org. Sign up to enter our monthly giveaway.