Do you remember how upset or hurt you felt when you worked hard for something only for it to fall through? Well that was my situation.
I had applied for a summer internship at a publishing house in New York. Obviously with school, work and other extracurricular activities—like sleep—I had few moments where I had the opportunity of toiling with the application.
But I still worked and put my heart and soul into that application. My knees bounced incessantly while I pressed the submit button at the bottom of the page.
Side note: I have a nervous habit of playing with my cuticles and the result doesn’t look very pretty.
Anyways, back to the story.
I waited a couple days, constantly looking at my phone to see if I had received any news. Nothing.
After six days I realized that the website didn’t write how long it would be until they notified me whether or not I had gotten the intern position. So, I called the following day.
The lady on the line was very kind (I think she could hear the nerves coming through in my voice). She told me that it will take them up to two weeks to let the applicants know that they got the internship. I thanked the woman and hung up.
With that response, along with my worrying mind, I mulled over what she had just said. If I get the position, I’ll get an email or a phone call. However, if I don’t get it, I get nothing. Not even one of those generic emails that start off with “We regret to inform you…”
After worrying for about ten minutes, I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. I kept myself preoccupied in hopes of the days passing by faster, slowly squirming towards the end of the two weeks.
As you can assume from the title, I didn’t get the internship.
I was obviously bummed out. New York is a place I see as a possible permanent location after college. I hoped that interning at a publishing house for ten weeks would give me an idea whether I could see myself living in the big apple by myself and enjoy it.
But it just wasn’t in the cards for the 2019 summer.
Regardless, I continued on. I studied for finals, barely survived but made it to summer. Coming home, I gave myself one week of decompressing before starting my job with my dad. I laid around the house, cooked for my family (which I love), and caught up on tv and reading.
On the Thursday of said week, my friend, Olivia, texted me about this acting and modeling agency that I had signed up for an initial meeting.
Before I continue, let’s backtrack a couple of months. I was scrolling through Facebook around late April and came across one of those advertisements that can be annoying at times. I typically just skip over it and continue through my feed. But I stopped this time. I don’t know why; maybe it was because I just came out of an almost two-year relationship or maybe because I was tired of convincing myself not to pursue a possible career because I thought it just wasn’t a good time.
So, I sent them my email address, phone number and my home address. I received a text after a couple of hours had passed. I was shocked, I didn’t think I would even get a text back.
The woman immediately wants me to come in for an initial evaluation. But the meeting would take place in Miami. However, I was still in Boston, finishing off my Spring semester. I quickly responded, explaining the situation and that I wouldn’t be available until after May 11th. Thankfully, she completely understood and told me to reach out to her once I made it home.
Fast forward to May 12th, I text her letting her know I was in town and would be available whenever was most convenient to her.
I didn’t get a call nor text for over a week and a half. It was just absolute radio silence.
Now we’re back to the present.
The agency thing had completely slipped my mind. I exited the conversation with Olivia and quickly texted the woman again. I figured I had nothing to lose anyway.
Not even 30 minutes have passed when she responds. She asks me if Saturday afternoon is convenient for me.
I’m overjoyed at this point. What are the chances that she would even care to respond to me?
I immediately tell her of course and we schedule everything. Saturday comes around and I was calm.
If someone at any previous point told me that I would be going to see whether I kick off my modeling or acting career, I would have laughed in their faces and said they were crazy.
But I was there. I was actually going to see if I could do what I dreamed of doing.
My parents and I sat with the other candidates in a pink and gray room. They slowly went through all the candidates. First asking for an initial picture from every candidate and then they reconvened to decided who would make it for a final callback the following Monday.
Again, they began calling individuals out of the room. One by one, people were filling out of the room. When they called my name, I got up and followed the woman out of the room. My parents, of course being parents, wanted to come into the room with me. I shooed them out of the door, telling them that they’ll only make me more nervous.
I walked into the office, heading toward the opposite wall. The woman at the desk asked me a few questions, jotting down notes of all my responses.
At the end of the short interview, she welcomed me back for a final callback.
I was so surprised. I don’t think it really settled in that this dream was becoming more of a possibility.
She and I created an appointment for the following Monday afternoon to see if I would be given the chance to join the team.
I’ll just skip the excruciating waiting period of two days and get to the answer.
I made it in.
Looking back, I can see now that if I had gotten the internship, I would have never considered pursuing modeling or acting. Now I have that ability of auditioning and trying something new; one door closes, another one opens—am I right?