Neil Sedaka said it best in his song “Breaking Up is Hard to Do.” Everyone dreams of their soul mate coming into their lives and sweeping them off their feet; but no one dreams of said soul mate swiftly exiting and letting them fall flat on their behinds.
But alas, lovers grow apart and some breakups are inevitable, it’s how you deal with the breakup that is important.
Norma Canals, a social worker, says that after a breakup you need to acknowledge your emotions and realize that what you are feeling is okay.
“It’s okay to be sad,” Canals said.
Having recently gone through a breakup, Chelsea Kreielsheimer, a sophomore at the Fashion Institute of Technology, knows how hard it can be to cope.
“I did all the usual things I cried, I got mad, I ate, I didn’t eat, I watched sad movies… I listened to sad songs…I talked about it a lot and then other times wouldn’t talk at all. It was all just trying to return to normalcy which just came with time,” Kreielsheimer said.
Kreielsheimer also said that spending time with her friends who were always there for her was a huge help in dealing with it.
It also helps to distract yourself by getting involved in things on campus, going to the movies exercising or just going for a quiet walk Canals said.
What Canals strongly advises against is drinking or doing drugs to help cope with your loss. Depending on substances is a big no-no after a breakup because you’re very upset and could become dependant on them. It is important to cope with your feelings in a healthier way and learn to be independent again, which Kreielsheimer said is both the worst and best thing about a breakup. Learning to be on your own again after relying on someone else for so long can seem nearly impossible at first. However, Kreielsheimer said it taught her to rely on herself more.
Both Canals believes time is essential after a breakup so diving into another relationship right away isn’t a wise decision. But it is Kreielsheimer who gave the most comforting advice of all: “It’s not as bad as it seems. You will come out better than ever on the other side…promise.”
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