12 Questions to Piss Off Incoming Freshmen

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As an incoming freshman, it’s easy to feel like a worldwide celebrity with the thousands of questions you’re asked on a daily basis from your teachers, parents and friends. Suddenly everyone’s interested in what you’ll be doing in the fall. If you thought these questions would be fun to answer then think again. Sorry, freshmen but consider this your initiation into college.

1. “What’s your major?”

Yes, this question is always annoying but it’s even more annoying when you’re the new kid on the college block. You literally just started college and people expect you to know what to major in? Cue the nervous “Uh…I’m still undecided” response.

2. “What classes are you taking?”

Because somehow everyone is super interested in all the gen ed classes you have to take. Thinking “Hey, this isn’t an annoying question?” Just wait until everyone you meet asks you — it gets old real quick.

3. “What dorm/floor are you in?”

One of those questions everyone you come in contact with asks. Not because they care but because it’s an easy way to make conversation. “Oh, I’m on that floor too!” Okay, person you just met who you’ll probably never speak to again. Here’s to awkward encounters in the dorm lounge.

4. “Would you like to join our club?”

Poor freshmeat, they’re every club president’s dream come true. Unlike upperclassmen who have become pros at avoiding eye contact for fear of getting dragged into a 10 minute conversation about rowing club, freshmen are easy targets for these conversations. It’s OK, soon enough you’ll learn to avoid these people.

5. “Where are you from?”

Another “I-don’t-really-care-but-idk-what-else-to-say” question. Unless you come from a popular city, chances are you’ll be met with blank stares and you’ll be forced to elaborate. And does anyone actually want to talk about their hometown? No. You’re at college outside your hometown for a reason.

6. “What year are you?”

Remember in high school how you were classified as freshmen/sophomores/juniors/seniors? This lingo still exists, but the more common phrases are first/second/third/fourth year. You’ll probably slip up a few times and say “freshman” even though you meant to say “first year,” but upperclassmen will let it go the first few times. After that, you need to get yourself together.

7. “Do you know where (insert building) is?”

Asked by every other freshman who has never opened the maps app on his phone. The first week of classes is always the worst time to walk around smiling and looking friendly because you’ll get stopped at least five times on your way to class. Nothing’s worse than not knowing where a building is and being unable to help your fellow classmates. If there was ever a great time to use your resting bitch face, this is it.

8. “What are your plans for after you graduate?”

Chances are you have absolutely no idea, and if you say you do then you’re a liar. This question is sure to induce loads of scary thoughts like “Wow, wtf am I going to do after college?” that will haunt you when you wake up at 3 a.m.

9. “Why did you change majors?”

Remember when you told everyone you were majoring in education in the fall and come winter you decided you hate kids and switched to psychology? Yeah, well everyone you told education was your true calling in life remembers and won’t hesitate to grill you about why you switched. Don’t worry, it’s OK to switch majors a couple times (or more).

10. “What’s your name again?”

Ah, nothing makes you feel like more of a total loser than having someone ask you this — especially if you actually remembered her name. Don’t take this too personally because there’s a high possibility that after she leaves she’ll forget your name again.

11. “Are you ready for the best four years of your life?”

This is every family member’s favorite question of all time. Considering thousands of TV shows and movies portray the “true” college experience as partying every night, hooking up with hot people and never going to class, the initial response is “Hell yeah!” But you’ll remember this question the first time you pull an all-nighter in the library and have to drink your weight in coffee to stay awake.

12. “How’s class going?”

Who even cares? Unless it’s your parents who strangely do want to hear all about how your professor is an asshole, then no one really cares. But does this stop everyone from asking anyway? No. Pro tip: Just say “good” and do not, I repeat, DO NOT go into excruciating detail about last night’s homework.

Elizabeth is a junior at University of Washington majoring in Journalism and Comparative Literature. She's always trying to be less sarcastic and always fails miserably. One time she met George Clooney and everything in the world made sense for those precious three seconds.

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