• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary navigation
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

College Magazine

College Life, Dating, Career & Campus Advice

  • Colleges
    • College Guides
    • College Rankings
    • Campus Life
      • Academics
      • Dating
      • Freshman Year
      • Health
      • Social Change
      • Party
  • Majors
    • All Majors
    • Most Popular Majors
    • Choosing a Major
  • Intern
    • Internship Directory
    • How to Get an Internship
    • How to Write a Resume
    • How to Write a Cover Letter
    • How to Interview
    • How to Network
    • Career 101
    • Find Your Passion Career
  • Money
    • How to Make Money
    • How to Save Money
    • How to Get a Job
    • Credit Cards 101
    • FAFSA
    • Ramen Project
  • Travel
    • Study Abroad
    • College Spring Break
    • How to Travel Cheap
    • Things to Do
  • Shop
    • Writer Course
    • College Magazine Shop
    • Gift Guides
    • College Packing List
  • Find your college or university
  • Colleges
    • College Guides
    • College Rankings
    • Campus Life
      • Academics
      • Dating
      • Freshman Year
      • Health
      • Social Change
      • Party
  • Majors
    • All Majors
    • Most Popular Majors
    • Choosing a Major
  • Intern
    • Internship Directory
    • How to Get an Internship
    • How to Write a Resume
    • How to Write a Cover Letter
    • How to Interview
    • How to Network
    • Career 101
    • Find Your Passion Career
  • Money
    • How to Make Money
    • How to Save Money
    • How to Get a Job
    • Credit Cards 101
    • FAFSA
    • Ramen Project
  • Travel
    • Study Abroad
    • College Spring Break
    • How to Travel Cheap
    • Things to Do
  • Shop
    • Writer Course
    • College Magazine Shop
    • Gift Guides
    • College Packing List
  • Find your college or university
  • About Us
  • Team
  • Write
  • Apply
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sign Up
  • Advertise
  • My Account
  • Cart

You are here: Home / Life / The Moment When You Have to Accept that Some Friendships Don’t Last

The Moment When You Have to Accept that Some Friendships Don’t Last

June 19, 2017 //  by College Magazine

Shares35FacebookTweet

You can find friends just about anywhere on a college campus. I found the best friend of my junior year at a club meeting. I met Henry*, an older and more experienced sophomore that I could depend on for guidance, my freshman year. However, I never expected the way our friendship would indefinitely end, nor that it would draw to a close quite so soon.

The beginning of the end

At the beginning of junior year, Henry and I moved in together as roommates with two other guys. I opened up a great deal to him, talking about the misfortunes of my life. We talked about my parents’ divorce and the time I spent in a closed ward after not getting any sleep for four days, which was filled with conversations with numerous detoxing and struggling drug addicts. I told him about the possible abuse from a deceased family member that I’d carried unspoken in my memory for 15 years. Finally, I told him about the many attempts for romance I’d staged through the years, all of which failed and caused me heartbreak.

Perhaps I opened up too much to this new friend. I mean, I’d only known him a couple of years. But we’d shared a lot together, and I felt comfortable confiding in him. He became my shoulder to lean on for over a year. However, all this ended on one swift day that appeared to come out of nowhere.

At about 1 a.m. Henry, his girlfriend and I had just walked back from State Street, where people burn couches, drink and loiter and cause general mayhem after UK basketball games. I’d just gotten ready for bed when I heard a heavy knock on my door. My roommate’s girlfriend was crying and asked me to please come talk to her and Henry.

He was a mess; he seemed very emotionally upset and talked incoherently. I’d never seen him in that state before so this was severely unexpected. We talked for a couple of hours, which nearly helped him calm down. Fortunately, the fire alarm going off and having to go outside in the rain saved us from the tight tension in the room. We managed to make Henry smile and realize that he still had things under control.

Constantly wondering, “Where did I go wrong?”

A couple days later he got really upset again and would not calm down. I tried everything, from talking, to meditation, prayer and distractions through memes, YouTube videos and Reddit threads. Eventually I realized that it was beyond my capabilities. His parents came and got him and took him home. It felt hard to see him go, and I promised him that I’d always be there to support him.

Henry and I didn’t talk at all for nearly two months. He said he wanted space from everything, and I respected that. So I left him alone, every now and then sending positive texts and thoughts. We’d done a lot together up to that point in the year, so it came as kind of a shock to not have my best friend with me. I focused all my efforts on school and did not have much of a social life. Going to Barnes and Noble and Cold Stone Creamery seemed like the only things I really ever did with friends during this time.

He didn’t reach out to have a conversation until the beginning of May. He claimed that I’d smothered and overwhelmed him with all my problems, and that I had put too much of the weight I carried upon his delicate shoulders. I felt astounded and shocked, confused about what I’d done wrong. I talked to a counselor and several other people about the situation, and they couldn’t really help me very much. Nothing about the situation made any sense to me. I had a few bad nights, sure, but who the hell hasn’t? He had helped me process some very difficult thoughts. Yet then, he said he wanted to set a boundary between us, and that I needed to leave him alone.

Learning that acceptance means moving on

It’s been hard to accept but I have been coping with this surprising and sad turn of events. I have kissed our friendship good bye for an indefinite amount of time, and am chalking this one down to experience. I do have other friends, and I feel comforted with that thought. We have to learn to let go, and damn, it feels difficult. But it’s a part of life. Friendships will come and go like the wind. We have to choose which ones to use to help push us along on the journey that is life. Mostly, I’ve learned to not depend so much on others, but more on myself.

We all have to think wisely when we build a friendship. It is important to be open with others, but we can never know when our concerns become too much to someone. As the valedictorian of my high school class said, “There will always be a lot of people in our lives. It is our job to discover who among them truly care about us, and who are simply using us for something.”

*Name changed to protect privacy.

Shares35FacebookTweet

Filed Under: Life

About College Magazine

College Magazine Staff

You May Also Like

songs to belt out

21 Songs to Belt Out in the Shower

Top 10 Weird Scholarships You Can’t Miss

cultural identity and language

Language Abilities Don’t Define Your Cultural Identity, Unless?

How I Turned My Personal Journals into a Published Book

15 Alcohol-Free Activities for a Friday Night In

Reflecting on Fall 2020: How to Recover from One of the Hardest Semesters

How to Make Money From Home Without Taking Off Your PJs

15 COVID-19 Safe Ways to Celebrate the Holidays in 2020

Top 10 COVID-19 Safe Activities to Do Near Fresno, California

Breaking the Binary: My Journey into Identifying as Non-Binary

The Döner Project: My Berlin Budget as a College Student

CM’s Guide to the Print and Digital Journalism Major

Away from Home and Feeling Gross: Being Sick My Freshman Year

A Tale of Two Twin Flames

movies to binge over winter break

Battling Boredom: 10 Movies to Binge Over Winter Break

Being an Asian-American: Learning to Accept Both Halves of Myself

How to Become a Published Poet

ADHD or the Enemy? At Least My College Helped Me

berkeley outdoors

10 COVID-19 Friendly Things to Do in Berkeley, California

Top 10 DIY Gifts for Your BFF

Christmas

10 Gifts For Parents That They Want But Haven’t Asked For

friend group dressed up as Big Hero Six characters

Animation Nerds Unite: 10 Gifts for Animation Lovers

gifts for your girl squad

10 Gifts Your Girl Squad Can’t Live Without

10 Virtual Gifts for Your BFF that Will Make Them Love You Forever

Previous Post: «alcohol I Was Written Up For Drinking in My Dorm—At Age 25
Next Post: Why Not Knowing a Language Can Be Rewarding travel language»

Primary Sidebar



Trending Posts

70

Top 10 Weird Scholarships You Can’t Miss

67

10 St. John’s University Finals Activities to Help You De-Stress

60

24 Ways My 2020 Survival Guide Turned into 2021 Lifestyle Habits

55

The Ultimate Auburn University Bucket List: 21 Things to Do Before Graduating

mental health
36

Pandemic and Academic Blues: Being Aware of Your Mental Health

Featured Chapter: St. John’s University

Footer

logo

College Magazine is the national daily guide to campus life. Our articles for college students feature university rankings of U.S. colleges, college guides, academic advice, college prep, career advice, student health and collegiate dating tips.

Written by students for students, by a team of journalists from universities nationwide, we’re on the pulse of the college experience.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Colleges

  • College Guides
  • College Rankings
  • Campus life
  • Academics
  • Dating
  • Freshmen Year
  • Health
  • Party

Majors

  • All College Majors
  • Most Popular Majors
  • Choosing a Major

Intern

  • Internships Directory
  • How to Write a Resume
  • How to Write a Cover Letter
  • How to Interview
  • How to Get an Internship
  • How to Network

Money

  • How to Make Money
  • How to Save Money
  • How to Get a Job
  • Credit Cards 101
  • College Loans

Travel

  • Study Abroad
  • College Spring Break
  • How to Travel Cheap
  • Things to Do

Shop

  • College Packing List
  • Gift Guides
  • About Us
  • Team
  • Write
  • Apply
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sign Up
  • Advertise
  • My Account
  • Cart

Copyright © 2021 College Magazine · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc.