No Favorites: Balancing Friendships and Relationships
College is a delicate balance of managing your time between social life and academics. So what happens when you are also trying to balance a relationship with friendships? This can be a difficult situation so CM has a few tips on trying to handle this juggling act.
Jess Fles, junior at SUNY Famingdale, has been dating her boyfriend for about a year and a half. The two met at school, but coincidentally live in neighboring towns back at home. Because they are always near one another, balancing a boyfriend and friends is crucial to her social life. “Conveniently, my boyfriend gets along with my friends so it makes it a lot easier to hang out with everyone at once. Me and my friends can all go out with him and his friends and we have a lot of fun,” Jess said. “Other than that, I always make sure that I make time for my friends without my boyfriend and vice versa. It does get hard sometimes to balance out the two because you never want one thinking that they are being neglected.”
Keeping a schedule of when you're going to see your friends is key. Make a day out of the week that is specifically set aside for your friends.
Maggie Drake-Koo, senior at Loyola University, began dating in 2008. They live in the same hometown, but attend schools eight hours apart. When they are at school they make sure to text one another often, but when at home the balancing becomes trickier. “I lucked out because my friends are also friends with my boyfriend so when we all hang out together it feels normal. At the same time, I think it is also important to have separate time for each.” Maggie came up with a plan to split her time, “I usually will spend Friday night with my boyfriend and Saturday night with my girl friends.”
Especially at the beginning of relationships, you want to spend the majority of your time with your boyfriend or girlfriend. That's great, however make sure you aren't neglecting your friends in the process.
"I hate when I can't see my boy because his girlfriend takes up all of his time," said Matt Lee, Purdue University sophomore. "I hate when I lose friends once they get into relationships."
Making sure there's a balance between the two so not to jeopardize one or the other is very important. Many times people become so infatuated with their significant other that their friends start to feel left out. This causes problems between friendships and it could even cost someone their best friends. The same works the other way. If a person focuses too much on making time for his/her friends and not taking their boyfriend/girlfriend into consideration then that relationship could also be lost.
