Anyone who knows me knows that I am beyond an over-thinker. Alright, I don’t know about you, but forming lasting relationships does not come easy. Yes, with social media and events and socials and all that jazz, the seeds planted may bloom. How much of that relationship simply grazes the surface, though? Can you really count on that person through tough times? How do you know for sure that you carry something of worth? For me, friendships formed and then fizzled, whether it may be my doing or theirs. Sometimes, the blame fell on no one; what used to hold, simply caved. But that’s okay, because with time I did meet that special one in my latter years of high school.
Now college comes with us at different universities, and I look around thinking, “well, let’s shoot for round two.”
In all honesty, college oftentimes revolves around a hell storm of drama—ridiculous roommate, he said, she said, friendship beefs, couple troubles. Within the churning winds, you may find yourself in a hot mess wondering how you even got there. Other times, you find yourself outside the walls of the hurricane asking how in the world will you make it to the other side. So how do you separate the real ones from the fake ones? How do you know when to let someone go or put effort in making a relationship work? How do you even get to even having a relationship? I wish I knew the answers to those questions. However, my familiarity with the life of it all grows with each and passing day.
All college students remember those awkward introductions with new people as a freshmen, where you try to establish a relationship. Next comes the inevitable small talk, followed by the idea of hanging out sometime. Sometime. That word kills me. Maybe I’ll catch you around sometime. Oh, I’ll text you sometime. We should definitely make plans sometime. When, though? I’m one of those people that can present to a group without getting nervous. But tell me to ask someone for her number so that I can get the ball rolling and I’m out. So I will wait for a time and wait and wait.
Trying to befriend someone who already has a clique of her own kills me every time. I always feel like a groupie that wants to join a band even though they have all of their necessary members. When the time comes to actually hang out, you’re basically auditioning your shot. One wrong joke or comment and they’ll be calling “next.” Nothing like some good old rejection to boost self esteem and encourage you to keep shooting your shots. There will come the fateful day, though, when the stars align for a magical friendship to beam into creation.
Once you make that friend, the matter of maintaining that friendship becomes a whole other ordeal. Let’s talk about the stigma that comes with wanting to stay in for the night or deciding to study since, you know, we actually came to college for an education. We can also pinpoint the joys of feeling left out or not getting invited to an event in self-pitying heaps together. Furthermore, that hurtful feeling when someone better comes along. Ouch. Next thing you know, you’re third wheeling on the death of the duo.
Now don’t get me started with college relationships. I cannot seem to wrap my mind around how fickle of a foundation they live on. The number of cheating scandals, friends with benefits fiascoes and pitiful stories that trickle down the grapevine into my ear never fails to grow. No wonder some people out there refuse to believe in love. Don’t worry, I won’t get into the sanctity of trust and the power of communication. I will say, it’s tough out here in these streets. Whichever way you look, there’s competition left and right. Nights out with just friends will probably leave you speculating what exactly will unfold. The crazy person inside you goes, “I’d like to have a play by play, please.”
What happens when relationships start to crumble? There’s two choices: you either fight to keep the fire alive or you extinguish the remaining sparks. For me, letting go of close relationships bites. Forgoing that very person you talked to everyday and told everything to hits hard each and every time. That said, I stand by the belief that if there’s lack of reciprocation then deuces. I am the first person to tell friends and people to drop someone who drains them. On the flip side, don’t give up at the first jump. If you see potential and have faith, then hold out for a future. Always shoot for who makes you better. The lines blur all the time these days, especially in college. But would the name be college if it didn’t?