“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22,” T-Swift sings in her upbeat, transition-to-pop track “22.” When this song came out I was 17. I felt totally pumped that these lyrics would one day become relevant when I reached the more mature, sophisticated and (most importantly) legal age of 22. Fast forward a couple college years, and I’m here.
So what are all these 22-year-old feeling about? Not as upbeat as T-Swift thought .
Debilitating Hangovers
When college started you experienced a little fatigue, maybe a mild headache here and there. “I don’t know about you,” but at 22, every hangover literally feels like a death sentence. Freshman year of college, all it took was a cold glass of water to get you up and revived after a night out. Now, you need three Advil, two egg McMuffins and one solo cup of Pedialyte to get a single foot out of bed. Not to mention, the entire day after a night of drinking is completely unproductive and lazy.
Wardrobe Woes
American Eagle jeans are still god’s gift to this earth, but when you’re flipping through a catalog and question if you’re older than the models advertising the clothing, maybe its time to move on. You start wondering if you should shop for more mature attire at places like Ann Taylor Loft (sigh). It might still be acceptable to dress up like hipsters in overpriced Urban Outfitters flannels, but at what point are we too old for jean shorts and crop tops?
Metabolism Malfunctions
Our metabolisms have absolutely hit the breaks. The day has finally come when you begin to realize you can no longer finish an entire pizza with your bestie and wake up feeling light as air. Taylor Swift sings about eating “breakfast at midnight,” which is fine if you’re stick thin. But you’ve probably noticed those beloved American Eagle jeans are starting to give you a 22-year-old muffin top, so you can’t afford to follow the Queen of the Universe’s example.
Doubting True Love’s Existence
Hate to burst your bubble again Taylor, but falling “in love with strangers” just isn’t realistic at 22. Here’s the deal—we’re seniors in college and everybody in our class is one or two degrees of separation away from one another. Everyone most likely knows something about someone. It’ll be nice to get out in the real world and meet some new people, but then again…who else is out there? How do you find new people? Will you have to download Tinder? When are you too old to use Tinder? Ugh.
“WTF” Facebook Engagement Posts
You can convince yourself you’re “happy, free confused, and lonely in the best way.” But when you see those engagement posts on Facebook that get 500 likes, it really makes you wonder, doesn’t it? It’s a rude awakening to see couples your own age getting ready to tie the knot. Who can even afford an engagement ring right now? You barely have enough money in your checking account for weekend Uber rides…how is everyone not in that same boat?
Grown-Up Grocery List
The other day I had to buy a can opener, even though kitchen essentials are supposed to magically appear. Who knew you had to buy these things? There is nothing you hate more than buying toilet paper. Sure, it’s important, but think of all the other cool things your money could be put towards. Paying for monthly utilities: now that’s miserable. And it’s “magical” how fast your water bill builds up.
Your Life Begins at 8 A.M.
In the real word, you can’t exactly skip a day of work like you skip a class here and there. Also, “forgetting about the deadlines” has much more serious consequences, AKA you’ll probably get fired. Of course, these things are all assuming you have a place of employment right out of college. A good chunk of us are simply observing those with full-time jobs, enviously wondering “what are thoosssee?”
Adulting is Hard
You’re in a limbo between kid and adult. All you want is to watch the Kardashians on Sunday nights, but there are also all these political debates going on and you feel like you need to be a responsible adult and watch those instead. Oh, and isn’t it tax season right now? Isn’t it a whole season?
Unfortunately, it’s common knowledge that nobody really likes a 23-year-old, so you might as well soak up life at 22 right now. Worse comes to worst, just keep dancing like you’re 22—add in “the Dab” here and there and little Whip & Nae Nae, and you’re good to go.
Alright, I kid. Being 22 is actually pretty awesome, and there’s a beauty to all the unknowns and things we have yet to discover about ourselves.
Taylor got one thing right for sure, everything will be alright.
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