What do you do when your friend is dating a D-bag? Contrary to popular belief, life isn’t black and white and neither are its answers. What type of relationship are we talking about? According to Frank Machivelli, Loyola University’s rather popular outspoken student, “A large “F*ck Off” to whoever is being a miserable SOB to your good friend is applicable across the board. However there’s a time and a place for it.
Your friend gets excited about a text, sometimes they go home together, other times you see this frivolous hook-up go home with someone else. Things are blurred but your friend follows this person to whatever party he or she is suspected to attend. It’s a bad crush. If you wanna tell this Dbag to find someone else to fulfill their lack of self-esteem – that’s cool, but this person doesn’t really deserve acknowledgement. Lead by example and show your friend that.
This guy or girl is always trying to prove they could be with someone else every other weekend. A game is being played on one side and eventually a line will be crossed. If this player happens to be playing with your friend I’m sure you’ve wanted to pour a drink on them BUT don’t forget your job as a friend is to give them the esteem-ammunition so they can tell this person where to go on their own. Don’t steal their thunder; buy them a cheap beer and grab a good seat.
The “We’re on a Break” Relationship
They’re not in love, they’re comfortable. Your friend has settled into an idea of perfection that includes a pipedream about this former love being much better than he or she actually is accompanied by the hope that the relationship can be saved. Send your Thank You notes to Nicholas Sparks for this inspired delusion.
“You don’t know them like I do; they really want a break to ‘find themselves.’” Refrain from rolling your eyes. Wait for this ex to mess up and they will. In the meanwhile don’t express too much contempt for this swindler while your friend is still LoveSick. What you can do: consistently remind your friend about what they want in life and point out that none of those things are happening with the Dbag. OR you can break your friends phone – seriously. Throw that awful creeper device against the wall and repay them with a “So What I’m a Rock Star” moment: A bottle of vodka and a night out should do the trick.
Mental abuse is when your friend is consistently put down and verbally demeaned or controlled. When your friend is afraid to do something in fear of their partner: there’s a problem. In my twisted experience I was THE friend. I knew I deserved better, but he was an addiction. News flash: You aren’t dealing with your friend; you’re dealing with an addict.
Play good cop bad cop. If you’re going to play the “talker” you need to have another friend play the “listener.” This person needs to be good at asking the right questions so your friend can come to the proper conclusion. Your friend is the one who has to say “enough.” If you try to push them they will run further from you. Cue bad cop, you need to be the one who loathes the abuser, purposely excludes them, drops a line to your buddy’s parents, etc. You are showing your friend that you sense something they don’t . It is a manipulative plan. Sorry, when your friend is crying on the phone begging this beau to forgive them for something stupid, or scared to go out in fear of a fight later: you are damn right you are coming up with a manipulative plan OR if you live near a river – got any bricks?
If there is any occasion when this Dbag crosses the line by cheating, physical abuse, lying or selfishness, follow Michavelli’s advice, “That b*tch is done.” No one said being a friend was easy. It requires you to tell people off, buy drinks to pour on people, break phones and defend till the death. It will all be worth it when you have your wing man back.
Photos taken from blogspot.com and glamour.com