Dear College Magazine,
I wanna try something new in bed, but my girlfriend only ever wants to do missionary. Why is that? Is there something special about missionary for girls that I'm not getting?
–Can't Spice it Up
Dear Can't Spice it Up,
Ah, the classic missionary position, a bedroom staple. Movies and TV tout it as the “normal” way to have sex, though this is at odds with what magazines like Cosmopolitan tell us. While your favorite rom-coms show two lovebirds staring into each others eyes while gently thrusting, women’s magazines all over keep telling us to “spice up the bedroom” with sexual positions comparable to the feats performed in Cirque du Soleil. Although twisting your left leg around your partner’s head while standing on one toe and holding up a 15-pound barbell may somehow bring you closer to orgasm, sometimes, these impossibly athletic feats can seem like a bit much.
Which is why many women often settle for missionary.
“It’s lazy sex,” says Kaitlin Reinhardt, a junior at Central Connecticut State University. “I don’t really have to move – plus, you get a great view of his triceps.”
Reinhardt isn’t the only lady out there who loves missionary for this reason. In an article for the Oprah-approved sex and dating website Em & Lo, an anonymous contributor wrote that women love the fact that you and your guy can have a great time “while you’re both lying down and never missing a thrust.”
But laziness isn’t the only reason why women keep coming back to the missionary position. We’re not a bunch of lethargic sloths. We all have the same goal in mind – the big O, something that’s difficult to achieve in missionary. So what is it that really has us hooked on this mysterious move?
The answer seems to lie in the inherent intimacy of the missionary position. “The missionary’s physical closeness engenders emotional closeness,” claims Em & Lo. “It’s the position people think of when love songs mention two people becoming one.”
For some, this physical closeness may enhance emotional attachment as well as the sexual experience. The Huffington Post cites a Concordia University study headed by Psychologist Jim Pfaus that found that love and lust are found in the same sector of the brain.
In other words, if you’re turned on emotionally, you’re turned on physically, and vice versa. Missionary position is a perfect example of this. As Julie Rollins, a sophomore at the University of Michigan says, “Being face to face during sex is as incredibly alluring as it is romantic.”
This explains why so many women prefer missionary. Even though it’s less likely to guarantee orgasm, in some ways, it can be an even more emotional and erotic experience than one of those crazy Cosmo positions.
Not to mention, it’s a total turn-on when one person takes charge in the bedroom. “Don’t get me wrong,” says Reinhardt, “I love calling the shots, but there’s something totally sexy about having a guy on top of me.” Try and disagree with that, I dare you
Photo taken from images.idiva.com