There are not a lot of things in this world that can really get under my skin quite like Valentine’s Day. As a girl who has been on both sides of Valentine’s Day whether it is being single or taken, I can’t express how much I hate February 14. This doesn’t mean that I don’t celebrate it out of pure conformity but I do have some advice on how to handle yourself on this Hallmark holiday.
Taken Girls: Listen ladies, your boyfriend is trying-give him a break. I guarantee your expectations are over the top, unnecessary and you’re scaring the shit out of the poor guy. Besides, do you really want a dozen roses and a heart shaped box of chocolates just like every other damn girl on the planet? I personally don’t enjoy the shallow interpretation of romance that is known as the day of love. Let him be a little creative, and hell if he’s not..at least you have someone. Because I can tell you right now if you don’t stop bitching at him, next Valentine’s Day you’ll be my next category.
Single Girls (and some really pansy guys): So I get it, the holiday sucks and it’s a constant reminder of how you are alone. But I don’t want to see your emotional baggage in my news feed. I don’t want to see another Facebook status about how you hate your life because of one day out of an entire year. Consumerism is not the reason you’re single, so stop blaming the day; it probably didn’t want to be this miserable holiday either. There are plenty of people who are alone of Valentine’s Day, you’re not the only one. So look at that, you’re not alone. Bright side. So put the Ben & Jerry’s down, turn off The Notebook and go out and have a drink with your other single friends. I don’t want to see you crying to yourself on the couch because you can’t find a guy..if you actually want to meet someone get out of your damn house.
Here’s my final advice. It’s 24 hours of expressing feelings that you don’t actually mean and it makes people do some pretty stupid things. So single or taken, smell the roses and stuff your face with some chocolate hearts before you say something to make me want to smack you. Happy Vagina Day everybody.