USMNT Melts Down, Tim Howard is Pissed

The U.S. men’s national team went up 2-0 on Mexico in the Gold Cup final last night. Playing at what seemed more like Estadio Azteca than the Rose Bowl, it was hostile territory. They sucked the wind out of the place and team U.S.A., notorious for slow starts, came ready for the cockfight.

Then the U.S. back line got lit up like they owed the Tijuana Cartel a debt. El Tri poured on four unanswered and locked up the cup.

Shoddy defense and the inability to convert was the story all over again. CLANK! SWOOSH! OOOH! All noises of close, but no cigar shots on goal. All noises that aren’t nearly as pleasant as the crisp brushing the ball makes when it connects with the back of the net. 

Even down 3-2, the USMNT had chances to tie it up. That is, until a poor clearing attempt gave Giovani Dos Santos the ball right in front of Tim Howard and inside a group of dawdling U.S.A. defenders. Dos Santos’ no-look chip shot was gorgeous but how does anyone let him take that? I don’t care if you impale his ankle with your cleats, you can’t even give him an opportunity to wind up for the shot.

Obviously, I skipped the trophy ceremony.

This morning I awoke to find Tim Howard being smashed on the Internet for his post-game comments. 

"CONCACAF should be ashamed of themselves. I think it's a fucking disgrace that the entire post-game ceremony was in Spanish. You can bet your ass if we were in Mexico City, it wouldn't be all in English," Howard said to reporters after the game.

People will call him a stereotypical ugly American, but he’s only speaking the truth, not being ethnocentric. He’s only saying we speak English in America. Yes, the crowd was mainly pro-Mexico, however, if America received the trophy in Mexico City and the emcee spoke to the crowd in English that would be weird. 

Mexico bested the U.S. in convincing fashion. The trophy is theirs. Before you melt down over the loss or Howard, mull it all over with a Chipotle burrito. I guarantee you’ll feel better.