Things You Should Stop Doing on Facebook Or You’ll Never Get Laid

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Facebook is a social network where you are free to express yourself, but sometimes you should keep some of that "expressing" to yourself. Here are a few things some of you need to stop doing on Facebook, or the most action you're going to see is a Farmville request from your aunt. 


Shirtless Pictures

Seriously guys, I do not care if you have an 6 pack on top of your 8 pack, there is no reason that your profile picture should be of you in the bathroom mirror with a caption that reads: “I know you want it.” I also do not care about your album dedicated to every time you did 6 push-ups and drank some whey protein. You are not an Abercrombie ad and you just look like a douche. Put your shirt back on.

Chatting Me
If you do not have the balls to talk to me in person then do not chat me on Facebook. Especially if how you are going to address me are any of the following: “Sweet cheeks,” “Baby,” “Hot ass,” or anything else of that manner… you get the picture, I’ve seen it all.

Poking me
Even worse than chatting me is poking me. Seriously dude, I don’t know you and there is no other way to take a “poke” than creepy. Golden Rule: If you wouldn’t do it in real life, don’t do it on Facebook. Would you poke me in real life? Nevermind, please don’t answer that.

Liking” my photos
I understand that my pictures are up on Facebook for you to look at, but that does not mean I want to know that you “like” my photo at 3 a.m. Or especially commenting saying something like, “You so fine.” I don’t want to imagine what you are doing at that hour of the night with a picture of me at the beach last summer with my parents. Keep that stuff to yourself and your Kleenex.

Arrogant Statues
There are quite a few pet peeves I have with statuses, but here are just a few. If you spell thingz lyke dis. If you decide that you just had a revelation about your ex girlfriend and want to express it to the world, i.e. “So glad I dumped that slut, dumb hoe don’t know what she missing.” Or my favorite, the desperate I need plans for the evening statuses,  “Yo what’s everyone up to tonight, I’m free. Hit me up.” I can promise you, no girl is going to sleep with you with a status like that.  

Check in tomorrow for the things girls shouldn't do on Facebook!!

Sophomore > Journalism and Sociology > Penn State University

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